COME ON IN, GUYS! - BEN/PROBST
Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! - John Oliver
I'm not sure what's going on? - Paul Wasicka
The finale episode of Survivor's David v. Goliath did not disappoint. Though I realize this blog post might because:
1) it's well after the finale episode actually aired (though that might make it right on time for teh bagginses),
2) Moon's emailed barb did not go unnoticed (email Moon, really? That is soooo early 2000s of you), and
3) I'm attempting to respond within Moon's milieu(s) (hint: ....nah, you don't need it):
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| Here's a graphic for you, titled "Moon"* |
The pool this season looked to be a runaway [citation: Moon's previous blog]. But in a move that can only be qualified as "Classic Bag," team Bagdrea squandered a massive lead to lose to MoonBee after a devastating Monopoly card was played by Nick for (and this is true) "all possible earnable Survivor pool points." (Two sheep for a brick ain't got nothing on buying development cards.)
I've never seen a point-earning sprint like Nick went on, outside of Gendry's improbable run to the Wall. Nick earned all but 14 of his 91 points in the last episode alone, which I'd hazard to say is some kind of record as far as percentage of points earned within 1 episode [citation: that's 85% but tbh I had to use a calculator to figure that out #mathishard]. And now, this:**
Frequently Asked Questions:
If you're so bad at math, why are you running this very math-based blog?
As with most things on the internet, it's less a matter of "are you the most qualified?" and more a matter of "are you the most motivated?"
How can we better address unexpected twists/advantages ad-libbed by this amazing show?
Well, you could trust the blogmaster to make ad-lib decisions herself, but that seems highly inadvisable given the obviously biased nature of this pool. Instead, I'd propose that any blog commenter could throw out a suggested rule/point allotment for any such unexpected twist/advantage. Should that new rule be approved by a blog quorum (let's say 4 people assuming that I, Phil, Eric, Moon, Doug, Ben, and a Pickett regularly read a blog post within 1 week & we're looking for a majority).
Why is Eric so bad at this pool?
Eric's blatant blondeism kept him out of the hundred club this season, but he would have come in dead last this season whether he'd double-drafted Kara or not. Eric's primary flaws when it comes to the Survivor pools are as follows:
- Not knowing Survivor history. While I applaud Eric's involvement in the #MeToo movement, knowing that only 15% of hidden idols are found by women might have altered his drafting decision to take only women this season. [Note: not saying that I knew that stat either, but I like to think that I understood it on a subliminal level.]
- Lack of organization. If you could just list out your thoughts/rankings more cohesively, I think you might be better able to strategize when it comes to the draft. I know that the 8 hr time difference between CO & NJ is brutal, but you have to take that into account if you're committed to this pool
- He drank pond water
- Math?
If CBS ever tried to pull a 'Great British Baking Show Host Hostile Takeover' of Probst's role in Survivor, how would you respond?
Not well. Worst possible successor would be Carson Daly who would result in me never watching the show again. Probably most anyone else between Probst and Daly would keep me watching the show, but this blog would be heavily laced with bitter diatribe and occasionally open hostility.
Does a Bag comment ever contain more than 3 sentences?
No. No it does not. Sigh.
Why does Moon think I should feel embarrassed?
I get that I panned Moon's team early this season but LONG ago admitted that Mike was one of the players to beat in this season & that John exceeded expectations. I also disagreed with Moon's power rankings in the previous blog post & said that he underrated Nick. Embarrassed? Hardly. Are you?
What did Phil cook for dinner last night?
DraftKings gives it 50% chance that it was a pasta dish, 20% that it contained fish, and 5% that it was vegetarian.
Will next season be as good as this season?
Unlikely. Though I'm always a fan of any season with returning castaways,
*No, Mom, I am not going to provide a key/legend to the above image. Figure this one out on your own... or ask a GOT friend/fan who is not this here blogmaster/daughter.
**I'm kind of assuming Moon is a John Oliver fan, but couldn't say for sure. I honestly consider any opportunity a good one in which to throw in John Oliver references.
9 comments:
Pickle for DOW
John: Ab-raham Lincoln "they hate that in Mexico, isn't that funny?" John is SO unsuited for this game. That dude's gotta be 250 pounds, right? These big guys with big names & assumed big bank accounts do not thrive on this show. And he certainly has no business being the #3 overall pick in the draft. Also, even if you really like John, metagame this draft Moon! Who on earth else would draft this guy before the 3rd round? You could've gotten John two times & much higher caliber player in the #3 overall pick. C'mon man.
Mike: Mike totally looks like Woogie from There's Something About Mary. Ding ding ding, Doug! He could be the next bald guy David, but I doubt it. His story is already known so he won't have a good character arc to get him by. Also apparently the only person talking to him is Natalie, which is a bad bad sign. I foresee an early exit here.
Natalia: Maybe a little too aggressive for the first couple days on the island, but she seems smart, crafty, and ready to make moves. I hope she goes far because she's my early pick to win it all.
Nick: Did Nick come on Survivor to win, or just to make up random names for the fake alliances he's building? Might last longer than originally expected due to the editing of the show, but I hope not. This guy seems smug, lazy, and in-genuine in almost every way.
Power Rankings:
#1 Michal: Obviously this is the best team. Well-rounded, with hopefully a good mix of point-scorers in challenges as well as the wily ones who will go deep in the game. Honestly I do like my team a lot but many choices were made based on perceived potential rather than anything most of these castaways have done as of yet
#6 Moon & Melissa: MoonBee brought a club to a chess match when they double-drafted the Mayor of Slamtown. Also, while our sample size is tiny, there's no evidence that the double-draft is a winning strategy in Survivor Pool. The last 2 winners had no double-drafted players. But MoonBee doubled-down on the double-draft and did so with some hugely questionable players. And then they threw a dash of Gabby on top & called it a day. Please provide some comments explaining these choices because I'm honestly bewildered by what happened here. Though having a weekly opportunity to mock this team through the blog is definitely a perk. :)
Margot Pickett said...
But, also as your mother, I do think you're being kinda mean to Tom...and it may come back to bite you!
There is no more fitting way to end this season than with this blog post, which includes an interview with the author, and Tom's response.
I will come back faster, stronger, smarter and more masculine next season!
I would love to see a host swap with the Great British Bake off guy and Jeff Probst. That would be hilarious - going both ways. Let's make that happen :)
Hahahaha! The final installment of this season's blog was worth the wait. Every picture in the 'Moon as a GoT character' creation made me giggle.
Congrats to Moonbee on an exciting come from behind victory!
Bag has pared down his comment from 3 sentences to 3 words. To be fair, it's probably hard to see out of the dust cloud Nick left behind as he sprinted past to snatch the victory for MoonBee.
I'm a little disappointed by the lackluster cut and paste comment from Luna with no original content - I'm hoping this is merely the penultimate response to what was an epic back and forth between two gladiators towering above the rest of the pool (pond?) when it comes to Survivor Fantasy Draft season victories.
I'd be on board with 'in season' point additions, like for the idol nullifier, as long as we had enough people in agreement about the amount of points that should be received.
Can't believe Eric didn't make a list.
I have a sick parlay going on Phil's supper. Tell the people what they want to hear!
Where's Doug?
Classic Bag is so classic!
HEY! I got the GOT references...at least most of them...and the entire gist. I laughed, even though I still think you're being mean to Tom (and me!) and I didn't raise you that way!
And I was right: It did come back to bite you!
HA!
P.S. Paul Hollywood as Survivor host is making my head spin, Melissa!
What an amazing blog for an amazing finale and again, I'm way late in my response and I'll improve on that next season. I still can't believe big John earned so many points, it's crazy someone voted out so early did so well in the points arena. I had two of the final three which is usually a good sign but this was not to be.
I happen to love John Oliver but HBO removed their channels from Dish and now I'm just sad and have to rely on Colbert for my pithy roasting of Trump...
What a come from behind win for MoonBee, Nick saved my season from embarrassment as well. I thought Mike would have more of a chance but Nick was too much, I guess he really knows how to win a jury.
This was a great season with some awesome slams on Bag and Moon which makes me smile.
For future guessing, I never cook vegeterian, I love pasta and everything else you mentioned fish, etc. Maybe next season we can have finale night here and I'll cook for you all, even Moon, yes I can do vegetarian like a boss!
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