Survivor DG: Finale

COME ON IN, GUYS! - BEN/PROBST

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! - John Oliver

I'm not sure what's going on? - Paul Wasicka

The finale episode of Survivor's David v. Goliath did not disappoint. Though I realize this blog post might because:

1) it's well after the finale episode actually aired (though that might make it right on time for teh bagginses),

2) Moon's emailed barb did not go unnoticed (email Moon, really? That is soooo early 2000s of you), and

3) I'm attempting to respond within Moon's milieu(s) (hint: ....nah, you don't need it):

Here's a graphic for you, titled "Moon"*

The pool this season looked to be a runaway [citation: Moon's previous blog]. But in a move that can only be qualified as "Classic Bag," team Bagdrea squandered a massive lead to lose to MoonBee after a devastating Monopoly card was played by Nick for (and this is true) "all possible earnable Survivor pool points." (Two sheep for a brick ain't got nothing on buying development cards.)

I've never seen a point-earning sprint like Nick went on, outside of Gendry's improbable run to the Wall.  Nick earned all but 14 of his 91 points in the last episode alone, which I'd hazard to say is some kind of record as far as percentage of points earned within 1 episode [citation: that's 85% but tbh I had to use a calculator to figure that out #mathishard]. And now, this:**

Frequently Asked Questions:
If you're so bad at math, why are you running this very math-based blog?
As with most things on the internet, it's less a matter of "are you the most qualified?" and more a matter of "are you the most motivated?"

How can we better address unexpected twists/advantages ad-libbed by this amazing show?
Well, you could trust the blogmaster to make ad-lib decisions herself, but that seems highly inadvisable given the obviously biased nature of this pool. Instead, I'd propose that any blog commenter could throw out a suggested rule/point allotment for any such unexpected twist/advantage. Should that new rule be approved by a blog quorum (let's say 4 people assuming that I, Phil, Eric, Moon, Doug, Ben, and a Pickett regularly read a blog post within 1 week & we're looking for a majority).

Why is Eric so bad at this pool?
Eric's blatant blondeism kept him out of the hundred club this season, but he would have come in dead last this season whether he'd double-drafted Kara or not. Eric's primary flaws when it comes to the Survivor pools are as follows:

1. Not knowing Survivor history. While I applaud Eric's involvement in the #MeToo movement, knowing that only 15% of hidden idols are found by women might have altered his drafting decision to take only women this season. [Note: not saying that I knew that stat either, but I like to think that I understood it on a subliminal level.]
2. Lack of organization. If you could just list out your thoughts/rankings more cohesively, I think you might be better able to strategize when it comes to the draft. I know that the 8 hr time difference between CO & NJ is brutal, but you have to take that into account if you're committed to this pool 
3. He drank pond water 
4. Math?

If CBS ever tried to pull a 'Great British Baking Show Host Hostile Takeover' of Probst's role in Survivor, how would you respond?
Not well. Worst possible successor would be Carson Daly who would result in me never watching the show again. Probably most anyone else between Probst and Daly would keep me watching the show, but this blog would be heavily laced with bitter diatribe and occasionally open hostility.

Does a Bag comment ever contain more than 3 sentences?
No. No it does not. Sigh.

Why does Moon think I should feel embarrassed?
I get that I panned Moon's team early this season but LONG ago admitted that Mike was one of the players to beat in this season & that John exceeded expectations. I also disagreed with Moon's power rankings in the previous blog post & said that he underrated Nick. Embarrassed? Hardly. Are you?

What did Phil cook for dinner last night?
DraftKings gives it 50% chance that it was a pasta dish, 20% that it contained fish, and 5% that it was vegetarian.

Will next season be as good as this season?
Unlikely. Though I'm always a fan of any season with returning castaways, Malcolm Joe has never been one of my favorites. I'm a fan of Aubry (Aubrey?), but have never learned to spell her name. I remember likely Kelley Wentworth but couldn't say why. And David was great his season but should come in with a massive target on his back. So I guess I'm feeling lukewarm towards last season while still am coming off hot from this last season. High bar here, guys, I hope you vets deliver.



*No, Mom, I am not going to provide a key/legend to the above image. Figure this one out on your own... or ask a GOT friend/fan who is not this here blogmaster/daughter.

**I'm kind of assuming Moon is a John Oliver fan, but couldn't say for sure. I honestly consider any opportunity a good one in which to throw in John Oliver references.