We're 2 days from the Survivor finale, 6 days from the GOT series finale, and I can think of nothing better to do than fill this blog post with random pop culture references and occasionally relevant analysis of a mediocre season of Survivor. Bottom 10 seasons of all time? Undoubtedly. Bottom 5? Perhaps, but honestly Reem's stellar performance on the Edge as the Ghost of Christmas Past might be saving it for me.
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| Is he dead? Did she kill him using only her words? |
Speaking of finales, here are my top 5 fave TV series finales of all time:
5. The Office -- hahhahaha, just kidding, this show should've wrapped when Steve Carrell left
4. Friends
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2. Breaking Bad
1. Battlestar Galactica
...and speaking of Battlestar: that thumb-up-to-the-sun-to-find-the-airborne-enemy-honing-in-on-your-location move that Euron Greyjoy pulled in S8E5 of GOT was a complete rip-off of Starbuck's move in S2E15 (aka "Scar") of Battlestar and it wasn't nearly as powerful a moment. #CommunityAin'tGotNothingOnThisPopCultureGame #QueenStarbuckNoWaitIMeanSansa
And now, this:
Okay, should we throw some Survivor in here? Here's the thing: there's no one left in the game who I'd truly be happy to see win this thing.
Let's belabor this point and do a full-on Survivor/GOT comparison:
- Julie = Theon. The weepiest of them all.
- Lauren = Harry Strickland, Captain of the Golden Company. This casting screams physical threat, but what have they really done besides fail at the thing they should be best at?
- Victoria = Osha. Just something about the way she hunches over a fire... it just speaks Osha to me.
- Rick = Euron Greyjoy. Thinks he's funny but really isn't, thinks he's powerful but really isn't. Thinks he's sexy, but... well, you get the point.
- Gavin = Davos. I mean the guy's lovable in his own right, but would you really want to see him sitting on the Iron Throne in the end? I mean I guess he's better than the others, but really? Davos?
What's lacking here? A main character. A hero. Someone to cheer for & believe in. Someone who's going to make the right choices for their people:
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| No, not you - get the fuck out, Jon Snow! See below, you asshole. |
This is more like it:
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| You made a choice Brienne, and you chose wrong! |
And on to the Survivor Pool scores:
5. Michal & Ben - 116 pts
4. MoonBee - 130 pts
4. Baggins - 130 pts
2. Eric - 154.5 pts
1. Doug & Bri - 181.5 pts
Power Rankings:
5. Michal & Ben - my Survivor team may be terrible, but at least I have a fighting chance in my Game of Game of Thrones pool! (Long live King Drogon?)
4. Baggins - this team had a seriously strong start followed by a dull & meandering middle, and will likely finish in a forgettable fashion. It's the Walking Dead of this season's Survivor Pool. Or, I suppose to more appropriately theme to this post:
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| Is this how you're getting to Storm's End too? |
3. Eric - Best performance in Survivor Pool by Eric yet, but it won't be enough to get him that top spot. I'm so happy you achieved a lifetime goal of getting top billing in the Blog, but unfortunately this blog is fickle and unreliable, and now you're stuck with a middling ranking.
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| but then.... you know... |
2. Doug & Bri - Doug & Bri had a seriously rough start, followed by a massive comeback, with the potential for a very disappointing 2nd place finish. They need one of their bench players to be put back in the game, I think, to have a real shot at the trophy. (Speaking of, where's that trophy gotten itself to?) #JonStarkaeryan
1. MoonBee - In a powerful position with 3 players left and a high ceiling for point-earning potential. This was a well-drafted team that deserves to win the pool this season, unlike the castaway that wins Survivor this season. #QueenSansa #TheQueenTheyDeserve
