Thursday, November 2, 2017

Survivor 3H Club: Episode 6

Ben found out that there's an article that documents how bored Probst is by this season. Proof!

This may be a season where I just have to hate everybody on my team. Ryan's response to Ali's anger was to just drop her from his alliance altogether. What about saying sorry & trying to repair things? Basic rule of Survivor is that it's better to have allies and not enemies. I think Ryan may have thin skin and he couldn't handle somebody being mad at him.

Next, Cole's tribe finds new reasons to hate him. Actually the same reasons, just expanding them a little bit. Then we dive right into a standard Survivor reward challenge. If they don't do something new Probst might just walk off the set.

Somewhere in this challenge the lead is lost because someone is bad at knots. Or I guess noticing knots. If nothing else, there are two things you must practice before going on Survivor: 1) making a fire, and 2) untying knots. There's always a knot! Also you might want to get better at swimming. 


JP then admitted to missing my last blog post that focused on hubris by claiming that he is indispensable to his tribe. Shame! Shame!

We get a glimpse of Blue tribe discussing their options & it appears that Desi is already working on the paperwork for her divorce from Joe. But +5 to Joe for finding another Idol. He's looking more and more like the second coming of Tony every episode. Also there's an article out there that includes an opinion on why producers should be more creative when hiding idols. Because this laziness basically ensures that Cuppa Joe gets mad points even though Joe had to recruit Stupid Cole to help him figure out the clue in the first place!

Speaking of Stupid Cole, the next thing we know he's passed out in the sand & looks like his almost got his beautiful face bashed in by bamboo. And what would he have going for him at that point?  Thank goodness there's a doctor on hand to provide first aid... even though he's a urologist.

The return of the Jessica-Cole Love Fest does not impress Lauren in any way. Mike and Ben and will likely turn against this Not-So-Power-Couple.

Ben brings up an all-important point number three that you should fatten up before going on Survivor. How do you really rank points number 1 through 3? Probably 1) make fire, 2) get fat, 3) untie knots. 

And then we're on to the immunity challenge, where the biggest challenge might end up being knowing how to spell immunity. This feels like it should be doable, but I don't think we should overestimate this season.

Communication is a huge problem on this challenge. Red has a great strategy where the person coming and going with a block doesn't play a role in balancing the stack at all. I am not being sarcastic when I am when I say that I am seriously blown away by Red's performance in this challenge.

This is a seriously close challenge but Red again is so impressive that they dropped their entire word and came back to win it while everybody else only had basically one letter left.

Yellow goes back to camp and starts strategizing I really wish that Ali would see through Ryan bullshit of extending an olive branch. Allie should think through why Ryan is being nice to her and then make a play against him. Maybe there aren't enough other players out there for her to be able to make any other move. Or maybe she's not as smart as I thought she was. Maybe there's no one to root for this season. Le sigh.

The overconfidence of the players this season seriously pisses me off. They couldn't hold a candle to the legends of Survivor and yet they talk like they are among the best.

Ali is going home and another early favorite in my power rankings is out the door. I think this was the right decision because JP really does not have a strategy and is clearly not going to win this season. In Ali's exit interview she says that Chrissy is the favorite to win the game. I think she's right. Chrissy may not be super likable but she does seem to actually have some strategy.

The Teams:
Moon & Melissa "2 Cups of Joe" - 78 points
  • Ryan (3 pts)
  • Cole (16 pts)
  • Joe (24 pts)
  • Joe (24 pts)
  • Ashley (11 pts)
Phil "Scrub Island Featuring Superscrub Roark" - 46 points
  • Mike (18 pts)
  • Chrissy (8 pts)
  • Roark (2 pts)
  • JP (9 pts)
  • Desi (9 pts)
Eric "Two Laurens Don't Make a Right" - 50 points
  • Ben (18 pts)
  • Lauren (11 pts)
  • JP (9 pts)
  • Lauren (11 pts)
  • Alan (1 pt)
Doug & Bri "Cowboys & Estrogen" - 48 points
  • Ben (18 pts)
  • Ali (2 pts)
  • Chrissy (8 pts)
  • Desi (9 pts)
  • Ashley (11 pts)
Michal & Ben "The Candlestick Makers" - 43 points
  • Ryan (3 pts)
  • Cole (16 pts)
  • Devon (6 pts)
  • Jessica (16 pts)
  • Roark (2 pts)
Bagdrea "Surfing with Chick Hicks" - 43 points
  • Devon (6 pts)
  • Mike (18 pts)
  • Ali (2 pts)
  • Jessica (16 pts)
  • Alan (1 pt)

Player Rankings:

Ask and ye shall receive!
  1. Chrissy
  2. Ben
  3. Ryan
  4. Ashley
  5. Devon
  6. Desi
  7. Mike
  8. Lauren
  9. Jessica
  10. JP
  11. Joe
  12. Cole


Power Rankings:
  1. Cowboys: They took a hit this week, but they're still going strong. They just need Chrissy to stop targeting their own team.
  2. Scrub Island: Scrub Island dodged a bullet with half their team going to tribal for a 2nd week in a row. But they came through okay & could cruise for a little while post-merge. With JP & Desi they have a good chance to win some challenge points too. 
  3. Two Laurens: I don't know why, but I'm a little worried about how Lauren will do post-merge. I think they could do well otherwise.
  4. Candlesticks: This episode went about as well as possible for our team. Cole survives another day and post-merge I think he'll start being an asset to bring with you in the game since you know no one will vote for him at final tribal. Hopefully Devon can re-bromance with Ryan and get back in this game too.
  5. Cuppa: Why does everyone on the show think Joe is so good at this game? If he was actually good at Survivor he wouldn't constantly be the subject of their conversation. But he is an idol hound, so he now has yet another chance to correctly play the idol, save himself, and earn Cuppa mad points. Hopefully Chrissy will take him out..
  6. Surf Chicks: And back down the power rankings they go. With only 3 ponies making it to the merge & already being behind in the points, it'll be tough for this team to win. 

Douche of the Week:

Cole for being a pig around camp. No wait, that was last week. Now it's Cole for being a greedy pig around food.

11 comments:

courtney said...

Not-So-Power-Couple lol!!!! So true!

courtney said...

Also, has CBS bought a private island or something? One thing I like about past seasons is getting to know a new locale. But they literally never (except once) mention where they are located, and it just seems to be the same location as like the past several seasons. Have they given up keeping it interesting and finding new geographies? Maybe part of the reason Jeff is bored.....that, and as you mentioned, the cast is pretty meh.

TheGraveWolf said...

I think Cuppa should be higher in the rankings. They have a large lead and a player with an idol. Joe is not a likable guy and I don't think he has a good shot to win but he will continue to earn Cuppa a double shot of espresso post merge. The Joe Train is a dangerous ride and could fly off the tracks at any moment but for now I think they are at the top of the scrap heap.

Unfortunately for Cuppa, and for us, Ryan showed he is not very good at handling negative social pressure. The situation with Ali could have gone much differently but he got defensive and blew an opportunity.

Good call by Doug about the idols. Seems kind of lazy/putting too much power in one person's hand to hide them in the same location at each tribal beach.

The cast is meh but the challenges have been solid.

Cole is le douche of le week.

GnightMoon said...

Apparently Pickle, you didn't learn from one year ago when you kept ranking our team low despite it retaining more players than the other squads. This time around we have a giant lead on the competition and all of our players heading into the merge. While Joe could lose double points by misplaying his idol, he also could earn double by playing it correctly, finding more, winning challenges, etc. I don't think our players are particularly strong and I didn't a year ago either. This is just math. I'll bet on our team against any other. Rest of the pool - let me know if you want action.

I can understand ranking us behind Bri & Doug - that team is still imposing despite the loss of Ali - but behind Eric Schwartz? Perhaps you believe JP is going to ride the coattails of Chrissy and Ryan to a deep finish. While I clearly agree with most of Wolf's sentiments, I do think Ryan & Chrissy executed this vote nicely: rather than continue the game with a strategic foe like Ali, they pulled JP into what will likely be a dependable, long-term alliance. I don't think an opportunity was missed here, I think it was gained. I think both Chrissy and Ryan are smart enough to recognize JP as a pawn they can utilize all the way through Final Tribal. I think JP might get dragged by strong players all the way there.

You liken Joe to former champ Tony and then rank him second to last? I don't get it. They even got the "I view this as a job, it's all for my family" narrative going this week. He really might be the next Tony. Or he might be out next week.

How can Cole be greedy about food when he doesn't have enough of it in him to keep from passing out? Still, there wasn't another good choice for DoW, so he gets my vote again.

TheGraveWolf said...

Le Moon, I agree with your assessment about JP being less of a strategic threat than Ali. I thought Ryan and Chrissy would be smart to take JP and made that same argument to le Pickle during the episode.

The blown opportunity by Ryan was not that he voted off Ali but the way he handled the fallout from the Roark vote. It makes me a bit nervous for future backstabs, etc. He should have spoken with Ali 1 on 1 after the Roark vote, playing it cool, coming up with a reasonable excuse instead of reacting defensively in front of everyone. He's lucky Ali didn't really have anyone to turn to because instead of soothing her anxiety he only fanned the flames with his reaction.

TheGraveWolf said...

1. Also, we are suffering a severe shortage of Lists.

2. Where is big Eric?

3. What did Phil make for dinner?

4. Does Bag even watch the show?

5. Until and unless he spy shacks, Joe will never be the 2nd coming of Tony.

6. Spy shack > love shack

7. They should hand out shirts at the Survivor reunion show that say, "Who is Roark?"

8. My pond ecosystem analogies of the pool teams will arrive with the merge.

9. N00b teams you are in for a treat.

10. Pond water is -2 but not pond analogies Eric. Do not fear.

11. Spy shacking > Cole snacking.

Michal Greenberg said...

Moon, I was just saying to Ben that if I were to go on jeopardy le thing i'd need to practice le most was my math. You are correct, I botched that power ranking. Cuz... math. On le other hand, your analysis of Ryan was about 3 steps behind that of Casa Greenberg. And also you seem to have forgotten that on Tony's 2nd season he was voted out first.

Doug said...

My quick thoughts:

Cuppa is looking strong. Hoping for a bad idol play by an over confident Joe to even the tables a bit.

Ali seemed like she would have been really strong after the merge. She was a week too short. Bummer, but hopefully now my remaining Survivors won't be trying to vote each other out.

Anyone want action on JP not winning an INDIVIDUAL immunity challenge the rest of the season? I think he is over confident, and Ryan valued him a bit too skillful. This isn't Ozzy we're talking about.

This episode, both JP and Cole said their teams were worthless without them. While potentially true, it's super douchey. It's also a kiss of death a lot of times for physical players. Cole will get my DoW vote this week, for this reason. The tie breaker between him and JP came down to some residual jelly still stuck to his fingers from last episode.

Phil said...

I made stuffed pork tenderloin with roasted brussle sprouts and wild rice. Nothing too fancy. I did make Julia Child’s Lobster Thermidor this weekend, super fancy...

Cole is DoS, forget this week stuff he wins douche of the season.

JP is a huge pawn and I’m glad he may get taken far, I had Chrissy very high on my draft board and hope she can deliver.

Who is Roark?

I’m ready for the merge when the real game begins.

I thought Ryan handled the Ali situation poorly and that could really hurt him.

GnightMoon said...

I appreciate the respect for Two Cups of Joe! Melissa was laughing at how upset I was when I first read this post. Admittedly it was pretty hilarious. THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Which begs the question - why is Eric Schwartz allowed to be in the pool if he's not going to comment via numerical lists?

Eric said...

My predictions for tonight's episode:

1. Cole will get so hungry that he will eat Ryan but that will not be enough to satiate him.

2. Ben and Lauren will get caught making out by the pond (bonus points for kissing?)

3. They will have the first ever Survivor softball throw and Lauren will win individual immunity.

4. Chrissy will think she is so smart but then be proven to be dumb when she finishes last in the first ever Survivor math challenge.

Also:

1. I'd like to see a Bachelor Cast on Survivor. It would definitely result in the most dramatic Survivor season ever!

2. I'd also like to see immunity challenges and tribal council on Bachelor.



Last week's DoW was le Cole.