Survivor 3H Club: Ep 7

1. The merge is here! The merge is here!

2. Chrissy is being cocky again right from the start of this episode. She's almost literally crowing about how awesome she is. I'm really starting to dislike her in spite of her strong strategic game.

3. Somehow the tribe without Cole is the one that has no food? How did that happen?

4. The merge party is hosted by Outback Steakhouse. Probst in-episode commercial for Outback was so painful that I could almost see the tears leaking out of his eyes. Yes, Probst, it has come to this. This is your worst season ever and may be a living nightmare for you too.

5. Ben's celebration of a bone-in ribeye was crazy over-the-top. You may love ribeyes, cowboy, but there's not denying that this still came from Outback. On the other hand, if my Ben were the one cooking your bone-in ribeye, then yes, that was the appropriate level of celebration.

6. Awesomely, Chrissy hates Joe after just two minutes of interacting with him. I don't really care which of them goes home. Either way would be a huge bonus for the Candlestick makers.

7. Devon & Ben both claim that Cole is one of the biggest threats in the game. Huh??? Do they know anything about Cole?

8. Dr. Mike is coming off as the anti-DoW of the week, providing interesting insight during his talking head moments, working through the strategy, trying to bolster his relationships & maintain alliances.

9. Next it's the immunity challenge where Ryan insta-earns -1 for being first out of the challenge. Then Probst mocks him for 45 minutes, or 1100x as long as Ryan was in the challenge.

10. Dr. Mike drops out of the challenge due to rule #1: no talking while gaming!

11. Desi ends up winning the challenge (+6), proving once again that she is the baddest ass on this season. Okay, there's no sign of her being a big strategist, but maybe she decided that she needs to lay low on that end since she's so awesome at everything else.

12. Back at camp, Chrissy suddenly becomes a target because they all realize that she's good at math. Cuz... Math. This is the second week in a row that her name is being tossed around & I think that should be concerning for Scrub Island and Cowboys. Being considered a major target this early in the season is pretty worrisome for someone who's unlikely to find idols or win challenges.

13. At tribal council, Joe rambles on both aimlessly & aggressively while almost certainly singing the Killers' 'The Man' in his head. Then he whips out his idol & I have no idea why. And THEN he plays it for himself which seriously makes no sense!!
    
    Here's the thing: there has not been a season where somebody pulls out an idol, flashes it about and then everybody votes for that person anyway. So why on earth does Joe think that that is actually going to happen this time around? Yes, that would be extremely badass for an alliance to do. But you maybe shouldn't risk such a precious commodity on something that's has less than 1% chance of happening.

14. In the end it's Jessica who goes home (+10 for making the jury). Joe nets -5 points for incorrectly playing an idol, and Cole is now without an alliance, friends, and lifelines. 

The Teams:

Moon & Melissa "2 Cups of Joe" - 67 points

• Ryan (2 pts)
• Cole (16 pts)
• Joe (19 pts)
• Joe (19 pts)
• Ashley (11 pts)

Doug & Bri "Cowboys & Estrogen" - 54 points

• Ben (18 pts)
• Ali (2 pts)
• Chrissy (8 pts)
• Desi (15 pts)
• Ashley (11 pts)

Bagdrea "Surfing with Chick Hicks" - 53 points

• Devon (6 pts)
• Mike (18 pts)
• Ali (2 pts)
• Jessica (26 pts)
• Alan (1 pt)

Michal & Ben "The Candlestick Makers" - 52 points

• Ryan (3 pts)
• Cole (16 pts)
• Devon (6 pts)
• Jessica (26 pts)
• Roark (2 pts)

Phil "Scrub Island Featuring Superscrub Roark" - 52 points

• Mike (18 pts)
• Chrissy (8 pts)
• Roark (2 pts)
• JP (9 pts)
• Desi (15 pts)

Eric "Two Laurens Don't Make a Right" - 50 points

• Ben (18 pts)
• Lauren (11 pts)
• JP (9 pts)
• Lauren (11 pts)
• Alan (1 pt)

Player Rankings:

1. Mike
2. Lauren
3. Desi
4. Ben
5. Chrissy
6. Ryan
7. Devon
8. Ashley
9. Joe
10. JP
11. Cole

Power Rankings:

1. Cowboys: With three original heroes on their team, the Cowboys have to love how this vote came out. The past couple seasons have a precedent though of the vote swinging back & forth between two majors alliances at this point in the season, so they shouldn't get too comfortable though. I could see some kind of short-lived coup coming up that takes out Chrissy or Ashley before the Heroes regain control. Still, they're sitting pretty with 4 still in the game post-merge.
2. Scrub Island: Scrub Island may not have a lot of muscle to it, but Desi is proving to be an asset and Mike & Chrissy have to be two of the best strategists in the game. This team is looking strong, though they'll need JP to pull some weight to help with winning some challenges along the way.
3. Cuppa: Cuppa took a hit this episode with a completely pointless idol play. Not only did Joe have no sound logic for playing the idol, he will likely be a huge target next episode if he doesn't find another one as he's now a proven idol hound. Joe is pretty much this team's only hope right now, too, so Cuppa is in a precarious position. Right on the edge of a coffee table, one might say. 
4. Two Laurens: Lauren didn't like the way the vote went, but she stuck with her alliance and didn't make a big fuss about it. Which means she's much cannier than most of the players this season. Unfortunately she's unlikely to win a lot of challenges, and a subtle game like hers often doesn't play out well at final tribal. So this team is largely going to be dependent on Ben, who came off a bit hotheaded in this episode, and JP to earn them points.
5. Candlesticks: We're down to three players and really need to see a beast like Chrissy, Joe, or Ben get knocked out soon if we're going to have a chance. With all eyes on Cole right now, this could be an embarrassing season for the current reigning champs. But you never know, these hustlers might make some kind of a comeback....
6. Surf Chicks: Things are going from bad to worse for Bag. I suppose he can take comfort in the familiarity of that feeling. Even if Devon or (more likely) Mike won the whole season they have pretty much no chance of winning since another team with more players will also have that player. So Bag needs to bank on 2 guys who have never spoken to each other making an unlikely & unbreakable alliance & finish top 2. glgl. 

Douche of the Week:

Joe for the idol play and general behavior at tribal council.