Survivor 3H Club: Episodes 9 & 10

Well Bob, it’s mid-season Survivor and predictably it’s the mid-season slump for the Survivor Blog. 

Bob, you couldn’t be more right. The Survivor Blog slump is as surprising as getting turkey on Thanksgiving dinner.

We're not even getting a post for Episode 8 because we're so far behind; we're moving right along to Episodes 9 & 10. It’s disappointing to see such potential go to waste, but we’ll keep our fingers crossed for a strong comeback late season. 

Bob, I think the explanation for the blog drought is easily explained. It’s the holiday season, the Candlestick Makers are pretty much done for the season, and a good chunk of their players are gone. And then Desi, their Blog Crush, gets the boot? I’m surprised they showed up at all.

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Bob. And with that kind of insight, let’s return to the action.

Well Bob, Episode 9 includes a reward challenge that proves Joe has some moves on the basketball court. While Cole continues to show his prowess around a dinner table, and Ryan shows his true colors as a chatty Cathy.

Lauren wins immunity, and we might just be seeing a new Blog Crush developing.

Cole’s record of losing almost no challenges seems to be the theme of this episode. Also, maybe it’s the long absence from watching this show, but do all the contestants suddenly look totally emaciated?

Bob, you couldn’t be more right if you tried. But your yabbering has distracted me from my play-by-play. Damnit Bob!

Well Bob, you didn’t miss much because the scheming on this season is as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face, am I right?

Long pause.

Moving on, Ben is starting to be identified as a dictator and mention of the Round Table is starting to get old. Tribal Council begins and Devon’s jaw literally drops as he realizes how freaking hot Desi is as she enters as the first jury member.

Bob, I couldn’t be more sick of mentions of the Round Table. Comparisons between an age of chivalry and the game of Survivor are about as misguided as Ben Greenberg trying to navigate his way to Thornton without Google Maps.

Episode 9 includes Dr. Mike waxing poetic about building a society and he also needlessly plays an immunity idol for himself. Cole is gone, which reminds me that we need to let everyone know that there was a major point change when we realized that Cole’s Crush did NOT make the jury and caused a major point swing from the last time this blog was published.

And now on to Episode 10…

Thanks, Bob. Episode 10 starts with the vilification of Dr. Mike, and a foot-fetishist’s dream reward challenge. The castaways play footsie with a rope while we cringe at imagined foot cramps and then Lauren takes the prize (+4). She then invites Devon (+1) and Ben (+1) and Ashley (+1) along for the ride.

Good Lord, is this a 2 hour episode??

Yes Bob, that’s right. Did you only just realize that? Not too bright, are you?

Fuck you Bob.

Anyway… Ryan is deliriously claiming that he and Chrissy are better strategists than everyone else because they are gaming 2 people ahead of the Top 7. Meanwhile, Lauren is using the reward challenge to build a strong Final 4 and probably picking up on the blog's subtle Friends reference as well. Clearly the New Blog Crush is, well, crushing it.

Hold the phone, people! Ben just found an idol!!

Meh. I think he was more excited about that Outback ribeye.

Bob, is it just me or are they overdoing these endurance immunity challenges?

Right you are Kenny… I mean Bob. Watching these castaways torture their bodies in various ways is just not that entertaining in my book.

Also the chocolate that’s meant to lure them away from the challenge looks pretty cheap and unappealing.

Devon, Ben, and Lauren opt out the challenge (-1 each) and I can’t help but think that Joe and Mike might resent that they can’t sit out this challenge but are expected to join the lazy asses that did in a newfound alliance. Ashley ends up winning and Ryan misses the obvious sign that a new alliance has formed when he bitches about the folks who chose to sit out the challenge.

Well, Bob, I’m enjoying watching Devon making some moves here, but I’m also vomiting into the trash can next to me as these fucking King Arthur analogies continue.

It’s a fun strategy that they’re concocting… but let’s pause for a moment to watch that beautiful jury walk into tribal council…mmmm….

As attractive as that jury is, Bob, I’m surprised that they can stand the odor of smugness emanating from the remaining castaways. It’s fun though to watch them out-smug each other without realizing what that smugness means.

Bananas!! Bob, what is this super-smug alliance thinking? Why on earth would you vote out JP before Ryan with his idol??

You got me there, Bob. When they dropped JP’s name earlier in this episode, I thought they were joking!

Totally worth it though, since Chrissy’s completely tactless response to the blindside was pretty priceless.

And we do need to give credit to Ben for working his Secret Spy role. At least for now. That’ll probably last only a little while.

Moving on, it’s another reward challenge, 4 v 4 and showers are on the table.

Bob, if I were on Survivor, this would be the challenge I’d go all out for. Getting a shower, and feeling like a real human being again, is a reward that I think is often underrated.

The Blue Team has a clear strength advantage in the reward challenge, but big shout-out to Lauren for best use of boobs in a challenge in Survivor history.

Bob, I honestly love watching Spy Ben. He’s crazy good at this!!

So true, Bob. So true. Watching Spy Ben is a enjoyable as watching Chrissy & Ryan scramble is detestable.

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Bob.

And now we’re on to the immunity challenge, and Bob I’m just tickled that they are all pushing wheelbarrows around an obstacle course!

You said it, Bob. It’s a crew of starving gardeners out there.

In the end it’s Chrissy who’s best at the word puzzle and it’s looking like Ryan’s fate is sealed here.

But wait, Bob, now they are throwing Joe’s name out there!

Seems to me like Devon is overplaying this one, Bob.

Hate to disagree with you, Bob, but it feels more like they are all finally playing the game. There’s levels of scheming happening now that we’ve been waiting for all season long.  Seems like the smart players maybe were doing exactly what they should have early, which was lay low. And now they’ve cut the chaff and are really getting into it.

Hold it right there, Bob, because that gorgeous jury is on screen again!

Do you think that Desi is bored to tears being stuck with JP and Cole?

She’s probably tuning out whenever either of them speak and imagining whatever beautiful man she has waiting for her back home.

Let’s get back to the castaways that are actually still in the game, Bob. It would have been nice to imagine that Devon set Ben up as the Spy with the intention of back-stabbing him in the first place. But it appears that never crossed his mind. Kudos to Ashley for seeing it.

Yeah. It if was me and someone suggested I play the Spy I would decline that offer immediately. That inevitably ends badly. You either do a crappy job and ruin everyone’s scheme. Or you do a great job and suddenly your own alliance doesn’t trust you.

Ultimately it looks like Ashley’s bold plan was too bold for her alliance and Ben lives to see another day.

That’s right, Bob, and now the stage is set with some real heavy hitters left in the game.

Do you have any favorites?

Well, it would look foolish to make any claims now when everyone else reading this has probably seen the next episode.

Right you are buddy. Right you are.

The Teams:

• Two Cups of Joe (MoonBee): 136 points
• Two Laurens Don't Make a Right (Eric & Andi): 92 points
• Scrub Island Featuring Superscrub Roark (Phil & Kelly): 90 points
• Cowboys and Estrogen (Doug & Bri): 89 points
• The Candlestick Makers (Michal & Ben): 68 points
• Surfing with Chick Hicks (Bagdrea): 47 points

Power Rankings:

1. Cowboys
2. Laurens
3. 2 Cuppa
4. Scrub Island
5. Candlesticks
6. Surfing

DoW:

I got nothing. Totally overwhelmed by too much Survivor. But feel free to submit your picks & include the episode you want them to count for!