One World: Episode 5

Sorry for my late post on last week's episode, it's been a very busy & exciting week what with all the basketball. But, since Duke & Colorado both quickly exited from the tournament this year, I can once again focus on Survivor.

I must say the reassigned teams are the most unfair distribution of teams I've ever seen. It looks like the drawing was rigged. The only way to make them more lopsided would have been to switch Monica & Kat. It's a good thing that Colton likes tribal council & voting people out, since it seems like he'll have plenty of opportunities!

That's okay, though, I'm not too sad about it. I'm looking forward to the weak team getting pummeled every episode. I usually cheer for the underdogs, but I'm making an exception in this case. After all, who is there really to cheer for? Tarzan seems like a really cool person to talk to in a classroom or bar, but on Survivor he's pretty useless & unintentionally makes other people look bad. Leif is none too bright & is probably already on Colton's list - although I do give him credit for putting up a serious fight in the challenge. Christina & Alicia have no idea what's going on in the game, and probably wouldn't know how to play even if they were in the loop. And Jonas is a despicable sycophant, more on him below.

The Standings: 

Team ??: Doug/Bri - 18 pts
1. Jay (8 pts)
2. Troyzan (8 pts)
3. Alicia (2 pts)

Pride of Chucky: Bag/Leah- 18 pts
1. Kim (12 pts)
2. Leif (3 pts)
3. Colton (3 pts)

All Balls, No Brains: Dachui - 16 pts
1.Michael (8 pts)
[2. Bill (1 pt)]
3. Kat (7 pts)


Ladies of Ephesus: Me - 11 pts
1. Chelsea (7 pts)
[2. Monica (2 pts)]
3. Christina (2 pts)

OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH: Moon- 11 pts
1. Jonas (1 pts)
2. Sabrina (7 pts)
3. Tarzan (3 pts)

Power Rankings:

1. Pride of Chucky - Ugh. I really hate ranking this team first, not because I don't like Bag & Leah (which is why I say "ugh" every time I rank Moon first, that smarmy bastard) but because Colton is so repulsive that I hate to give him any credit. But it seems like he's developed quite a following of brainless chickies, so I guess I should respect his current authoritah. Btw, apart from Cartman's obesity & home state, is there really that much difference between him & Colton? Mostly this team is ranked first because of Kim, though. She's a beast, and doing something that you enjoy is a unmeasurable advantage in this game. She seems prepared on all fronts - strategy, physicality, and the social game. I'm happy my team is her ally.

2. Team ?? - Doug & Bri's team is on notice. If they don't get me a team name by my next post (probably Thursday, but who can say for sure?) then I will not rank them higher than 5th until they do. It has been decreed. Otherwise, I think this team is in good shape - sure the men are in the minority on the strong tribe, but it looks like they will be heading to tribal pretty rarely, so they're not at too much of a risk. Post-merge both Jay & Troyzan are pretty serious threats - they're not too dominating in strength or personality - so they could make a deep run. Alicia is a waste of space in my opinion, but may have lucked into a good coattail riding spot. We shall see.

3. Ladies of Ephesus - Last week's episode was rather devastating for my team, although Chelsea is my golden goose, so I can't complain too much so long as she's on the strong tribe. Losing Monica wasn't surprising - after all it only makes sense that on the Survivor season with what has to be the lowest overall IQ they would make the dumbest decision on who to get rid of first. Probst was right; the weak team voted out their strongest physical player. Christina will probably be next, and I won't miss her. Go Chelsea!

4. OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH - I like Sabrina. That's it. Jonas needs to grow a pair (did Dachui steal them?) & actually do something on his own. Stop agreeing to do everything that Colton says, Butters - I mean, Jonas! Do you really think that any of his decisions have actually been good? Jonas has found a way to stay safe for now, but he's giving himself very little chance to win the game.

5. All Balls, No Brains - With Michael clearly on the outs, Dachui is left relying on "No Brains" Kat to get them through this game. They have 2 people on the strong tribe, so they'll rack up some points while un-merged, but I don't see either of these players making a run for Final Tribal, which is where the points really add up.


Douche of the Week:

Colton won handily last week. Who will it be this week? My vote is for Michael, who strong-armed men, women, and little people with such a reckless enthusiasm in the challenge that I couldn't help but despise him for it. Completely unnecessary, and detrimental to his social status - which was already suffering - in the game.