I think it's a good omen when the premiere of the Survivor Pool season includes an act so stupid it leaves Probst speechless. You could tell by his facial expressions as the men entered Tribal that he was going to have a really good time reaming them, and deservedly so. What a terrible decision - anyone who says that "only time will tell" if this was a good move is kidding themselves. You don't give that big of an advantage to the other team, even if you do think getting rid of one of your members is urgent (which it's not). My only thought on this is that Colton really is trying to destroy the men's team before dumping them for the women in a merge.
Probably the most intense moment of the episode for me was watching Tarzan realize that he's voting out Bill because a spoiled, bratty kid doesn't like poor minorities. I mean, wow. Colton offended almost every group of people in America in about 5 minutes, surpassing South Park's amazing feat of doing the same thing in 1 feature-length film. Colton doesn't like: men, poor people, black people (and probably all non-White people - look out Jonas!), people with jobs he doesn't approve of, and anyone who steals attention away from him. He probably also doesn't like most women, but we haven't seen him interact with enough of them to know that for sure yet.
The
Standings:
Team ??: Doug/Bri - 8 pts
1. Jay (3 pts)
2. Troyzan (3 pts)
3. Alicia (2 pts)
Pride of Chucky: Bag/Leah- 8 pts
1. Kim (2 pts)
2. Leif (3
pts)
3. Colton (3 pts)
Ladies of Ephesus: Me - 6 pts
1. Chelsea (2 pts)
2. Monica (2 pts)
3. Christina (2 pts)
All Balls, No Brains: Dachui - 6 pts
1.Michael (3 pts)
[2. Bill (1
pt)]
3. Kat (2 pts)
OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH: Moon- 6 pts
1. Jonas (1 pts)
2. Sabrina (2 pts)
3. Tarzan (3 pts)
Power Rankings:
1.
OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH - I think Moon's team is the only one that doesn't have someone on it who's name has been brought up for elimination. For this reason, I'm rating Moon first. I'm eager to see how long this lasts as I believe Tarzan's going to be at risk after the craziness of last episode. I'm also interested to see if Moon accepts Doug's challenge of a Jay v. Jonas showdown.
2. Ladies of Ephesus - Name change due to the unpopularity of "Good Boobs." Still wanting to incorporate the plethora of femininity on my team, though, I've named them after a statue of Artemis - note that in this article it's up for debate whether the "boobs" on the statue are actually breasts or testicles sacrificed to the goddess (which I'm taking as a good omen for the women's tribe). Overall the women's tribe is a mess, but it hasn't reached the shit-show level of the men's tribe, so there's hope for the ladies!
3. Team ?? - Honestly, I have my doubts about Jay, but Troyzan could very easily take control of this game in a post-merge situation. He appears to be the most level-headed of the men & smart enough to lay low for a while. Alicia is too ridiculous to discuss - I don't have the energy to come up with a PC way to express my feelings for her.
4. Pride of Chucky - Bag's team was looking pretty decent until this last episode. Then the boys started opening their mouths & the crap that poured out of them was stunning. Leif & Colton both now are in serious trouble, although Colton thinks he's earned perma-immunity just by having an idol. I expect one or both of them to be gone in the next couple episodes. On the plus side Kim is a major threat, so at least there's some hope.
5. All Balls, No Brains - Thanks to Colton, Dachui is already in a giant hole. Kat can't really be counted as a player, so it's really up to Michael to carry this team, and he's not in a majority alliance at the moment. It seems like they achieved their primary goal, though, which was to not choose the crazy religious zealot this season!
Douche of the Week:
The votes are pouring in already! Don't miss out on your chance to vote for the biggest douche of this week! So far our votes are:
Colton - 3 votes (me, Ben & Doug)
Leif - 1 vote (Baggins)
Any & all are invited to vote. If you're on a team, you can still vote too (cough cough, Bri & Leah). Get your votes in through comments on this post before next week's episode!
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6 comments:
My comment on the last post of "This cast is full of idiots." is pairing up very nicely with the episode title for the upcoming show on Wednesday -> "A bunch of idiots". Looking forward to seeing what bonehead moves these fools try to pull this time.
So, I guess the proper question is, "Who isn't a douche in this game?" The options are just mind boggling. But by far, the Godzilla douche at this point has to be Colton. Great blog this week, Michal. Loved the comparison with the South Park movie. Right on target!
Mark
I'm voting for Bill for biggest douche. Why, why, why did he agree to going to tribal? I also like spreading douche points around....
Plenty of quality DOW choices here but I am going with my boy Tarzan. Not only did he help spearhead the ridiculous unnecessary tribal council choice, but he didn't even know the name of one of his tribemates - who is also part of his alliance!
Colton would have been a good choice too, but he deserves serious props. Let's recap the Colton Saga here just based on the FACTS:
1) Colton is the obvious outcast of the male tribe.
2) Colton befriends many of the females.
3) Sabrina gives Colton an immunity idol.
4) Colton turns off many of the females with his clinginess. Colton finds himself at the bottom of the social ladders of both tribes.
5) Colton makes it clear to the men he has an immunity idol and pretends like he is going to use it, but doesn't. The men vote off the leader of the opposing alliance unanimously.
6) Colton ascends to leader of the "Misfit Alliance."
7) Colton coerces the men into attending an unnecessary tribal council to vote off his most despised adversary. Some of the men note that they only agreed to go to tribal to appease the powers that be.
To recap: Colton has become so powerful in the male tribe that players are doing what he wants them to do simply because he says so. Meanwhile, he is the only male player with existing connections to the female tribe, though he isn't necessarily favored by many of them. Finally, he still holds an immunity idol.
To put Pride of Chucky fourth, with the powerful Colton AND the tournament's overall #1 seed, Kim, is a grievous oversight. Not to mention Leif, who made a bonehead move but received just one actual vote at the makeshift tribal council and will probably quietly fade his way to the jury. Ranking your own team second is pretty comical, Pickett, though you will get a huge boost if that merge tease comes true. Winning that immunity was CLUTCH as Christina was doubtlessly headed home with Monica right behind her. Monica does has the chops to win it all if she can get to the merge. Other players that would love to see the buffs dropped this week: Mike, Jay (the bet is on, Doug), Leif. If they do merge, or more likely, get redistributed, things are gonna get crazy.
According to the preview on CBS.com the tribes are getting redistributed. That should certainly mix things up (and make almost all the pool analysis to date obsolete).
Good luck to all.
Love the comments & the votes! Our current DoW tallies are:
Colton - 4
Leif - 1
Bill - 1
Tarzan - 1
If you want anyone besides Colton to win this thing, rally your friends to add their vote to yours - time's running out!
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