Sorry for the delay on the blog post. I dedicate this post to my sister, who has been bugging me to write it. Without her, this post would just be an updated score. Instead, I actually put some effort into it!
The reason for my delay is that I'm unmotivated to post now that we've all agreed that this is one of the worst seasons in Survivor history. And hey, since we're on that topic, why don't we go ahead and rank them?
Power Rankings of Survivor Seasons:
20. Season 9 Vanuatu, winner: Chris Daugherty
19. Season 21 Nicaragua, winner: ??*
18. Season 5 Thailand, winner Brian Heidik
17. Season 12 Panama (Exile Island), winner Aras Baskauskas
16. Season 3 Africa, winner Ethan Zohn
15. Season 6 The Amazon, winner Jenna Morasca
14. Season 17 Gabon, winner Bob Crowley
13. Season 11Guatemala, winner Danni Boatwright
12. Season 8 All-Stars, winner Amber Brkich
11. Season 15 China, winner Todd Herzog
10. Season 10 Palau, winner Tom Westman
9. Season 18 Tocantins, winner JT Thomas
8. Season 2 Australian Outback, winner Tina Wesson
7. Season 19 Samoa, winner Natalie White
6. Season 7 Pearl Islands, winner Sandra Diaz-Twine
5. Season 13 Cook Islands, winner Yul Kwon
4. Season 16 Fans v. Favorites, winner Parvati Shallow
3. Season 14 Fiji, winner Earl Cole
2. Season 1 Borneo, winner Richard Hatch
1. Season 20 Heroes v. Villains, winner Sandra Diaz-Twine
*This season could move up depending on how the last few episodes go, but that seems pretty unlikely.
**Season 4: Marquesas doesn't make this list. It's the only season I didn't watch, so it'd be unfair to judge it against the others.
Standings:
Team Black Snake Widow: Me - 76 points
[1. Brenda (32 pts)]
[2. Alina (28 pts)]
3. Holly (16 pts)
Team Sanity Crushers: Courtney - 65 points
1. Jane (18 pts)
[2. Benry (34 pts)]
[3. Kelly (13 pts)]
Team Klepto: Moon - 62 points
[1. Jill (11 pts)]
2. Dan (9 pts)
[3. NaOnka (42 pts)]
Team Blonde Bimbos: Dachui - 50 points
1. Chase (24 pts)
[2. Jimmy J. (0 pts)]
3. Fabio (26 pts)
Team Cactus: Doug/Bri - 44 points
[1. Marty (17 pts)]
[2. Purple Kelly (25 pts)]
[3. Yve (2 pts)]
Team SuccoSash: Baggins - 24 points
1. Sash (22 pts)
[2. Tyrone (2 pts)]
[3. Jimmy T (0 pts)]
Power Rankings:
This pool could be one of the closest we've ever had, but it's hard to get excited about a close race when it's a race between dregs. If Survivor ever did an All Stars season again, they'd be hard-pressed to find someone from this season worthy enough to make it. Brenda maybe, or Jill? Although they'd contribute a lot to a Survivor: Quitters v. Clutzes season.***
1. Sanity Crushers - Everyone says that Jane will win if she makes it to the finals, so everyone wants to vote her out. But there's a definite Colby/Tina relationship developing between Jane & Chase, and I could definitely see him giving her the win in this situation. He's all heart, no greed. I don't think that the money is nearly as important to him as maintaining good relationships, and feeling good about vastly improving someone else's life.
2. Black Snake Widow - I'm so happy I ended up with Holly instead of Nay. The dreggiest of the dregs. In the end, Nay earned herself 42 points and 0 respect. Holly's guaranteed a minimum of 26 points, and the respect of at least this Survivor fan. She's actually a pretty good balance of under-the-radar, physical threat, caring about others, but still being crafty. She's the one who made the huge move to get rid of Brenda. I suspect she's the one who initiated the ousting of Benry. She'll be the one, if any, who gets Jane eliminated from the game. I think she's has a good chance to make the finals. Then we'll see if she has Amanda Kimmel syndrome, or if she can actually talk her way to $1,000,000.
3. Blond Bimbos - Dachui is still in this game. They're the only team left with 2 players, they have the best chance of winning immunities, and Chase has an immunity idol. There's the potential for a lot of ground to be made up by this team. If Fabio wins the next immunity challenge, he could definitely make the finals. But ultimately the question is, will Chase go for the win, or for the love?
4. Klepto - I think Dan's going to make it to the finals, alliances be damned. I mean really, who among the remaining players wouldn't take him? He's contributed nothing, his alliances never really stuck together, he's rich. He has no chance of winning. Sadly, a 2nd or 3rd place finish probably isn't enough for Moon to win the pool, though.
5. SuccoSash - Believe it or not, but Bag still has a chance of winning this pool. It would involve a) winning a couple reward/immunity challenges, b) successfully playing his immunity idol, c) winning the game, and d) either sweeping the votes, or having specific players going to the final 3 with him. If he can do that, this would be the biggest upset in Survivor Pool history!
6. No More Cactus - Is a purple cactus better than no cactus at all?
***Survivor "All-Stars": Quitters v. Clutzes
Team Quitter: Obviously this team's color would have to be yellow. This would definitely be the underdog team going into the season, even though they do have a former winner in their ranks!
- Sue Hawk (All Stars)
- Osten Taylor (Pearl Islands)
- Jenna Morasca (All Stars)
- Janu Tornell (Palau)
- Kathleen Sleckman (Fans v. Faves)
- Nay (Nicaragua)
- Purple Cactus (Nicaragua).
Team Clutz, aka, Team Medevac: The team that injured themselves out of a million dollars. Probably they'd have to be given red as their color, considering that the reasons they've been evacuated have included fire, fire ants, excessive bleeding, etc. Going into the season they'd be a person short, but given the track records, they probably don't even have to win a challenge to even things up. Michael FTW in this season.
- Michael Skupin (Australia)
- Bruce Kanegai (Panama)
- Gary Stritesky (Fiji)
- Joe Dowdle (Tocantins)
- Mike Borassi (Samoa)
- Russell Swan (Samoa)
p.s. I would definitely watch this season if it was ever made. The potential for hilarity, embarrassment, and yes, even redemption, would be huge!
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10 comments:
Nice post - How hilarious is it that Parvati's last name is Shallow?? Wow.
I think Dachui has a better shot than your rankings suggest. They have 2 people left for a guaranteed 20 points (or however much the jury gets this season) and most likely one of those players will make top 3 PLUS they have an immunity idol. Obviously, this could be played erroneously by Chase for minus points but it seems like overall it is +EV.
Go Jane and her crazy dog arm strength!
NEVER water a cactus!!!
I actually think Chase won't end up playing the immunity idol - I don't think he'll ever need to, and it's just as likely that he'll play it just 'cuz, which would cost Dachui points, OR, give it to Jane to save her. I agree that they are in a strong position, but their players are more capable of messing it up than anyone else left in the game.
didnt Sandra win Heroes v. Villains?
and btw, YAY! for posting the blog! :)
when i kept bugging you i def didnt think you'd come up with some sort of meta-analysis like this. nice work sista!
also, i think you should pitch this quitters v. klutzes to CBS, or on Jeff's blog or somewhere. i think it is a hilariously great idea :)
Argh, you're right... it's just that Parv deserved the win so much that I keep trying to give it to her!! I've fixed it now :)
I agree with Courtney that you should "pitch" your idea to Jeff and/or CBS! It could make for some entertaining viewing!! Jeff could even get in some really nasty digs against those quitters!
And even tho' I'm rooting for Jane, Holly has been such a 180 degree turn around from early in the season it makes me 1. root for her, too, and 2. think Jimmy J must really be a great coach/motivator! ;-)
I guess a soggy purple cactus is technically better than no cactus at all considering that Purple Kelly was B2B's top point earner. All the credit goes to her teammates, but coat tail riders have won before...
I think Chase is going to take Jane to the finals and screw Sash. It won't make any sense, but it will be Jane, Holly, and Chase as top 3 unless Fabio pulls out a couple immunity wins. Jane will win giving this dismal season a moral victory and Holly and Chase will be very happy about it.
Sorry; make that Team Cactus' top point earner.
Thoughts of better Survivor Pool days must have been in my head...
So after all that you end up going above and beyond and posting your biggest Survivor blog of the season! Well done.
As much fun as the quitters vs. klutzes idea is, I don't think any of those quitters deserve another shot and I don't care to see them anywhere near another Survivor shoot.
OK so I didn't watch Entourage back then and maybe you guys discussed it at the time...but how much does that Joe guy look like Johnny Drama??
well, while i haven't seen season 9, i have to say that THIS SEASON IS BY FAR THE WORST SEASON OF SURVIVOR EVER!!!!!!
idiots. complete idiots.
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