Survivor Ghost Island: Episode 9

We're post merge and post Chris so this show blew wide open for potential storylines beyond the super dull civil war that was happening between Dom & Chris. Dom must have read my mind... or I guess last week's blog, because he basically stated what I did, which was that he blew a lot of resources to get rid of his nemesis. His laying low strategy seemed to kind of work, even, in that all eyes were on Wendell rather than Dom this episode.

Wendell is playing the game well, including not playing his idol at the past 2 tribal councils where I was convinced both times that he would go home if he didn't play it. Thanks for giving me a few extra gray hairs on those ones, Wendell! But Laurel is a gamer too & her reasons for not trusting him seem pretty valid to me.

Laurel & Wendell look like they will be the titans of both the physical challenges & potentially also the strategy. They won the guac reward challenge basically single-handedly. They're both reading the other players well & at least Laurel seems to be weighing all her decisions carefully. Wendell could be in trouble if he just assumes his final 4 is locked in & solid... but he does seem to be working hard to maintain those relationships.

Then, in the second half of the episode, Angela comes out of nowhere and decides to hurtle Eric's team into 2nd place in the standings. Her "disrupter" role was played to perfection. Not one person suspected her of throwing Michael under the bus, and my respect for her grew & grew until we reached the immunity challenge. Then she started acting like a crazy person, and despite winning immunity, I think her prancing around may have a negative effect on her other tribemates ability to take her too seriously.

Michael saves himself with a clutch idol play, and in the end it's Libby who goes home. I'm not sure she still knows why. And quite frankly, I'm not sure I know why either. Was she really that strong of a player? Or did that female alliance just see an easy target?

The Teams:

Bagginses: 81 points

• [Stephanie (-5 pts)]
• Wendell (25 pts)
• [Libby (26 pts)]
• Laurel (19 pts)
• Donathan (16 pts)

Eric: 75 points

• Michael (17 pts)
• Michael (17 pts)
• Angela (20 pts)
• Angela (20 pts)
• Desiree (1 pts)

SuperDreg: 60 points

• Chelsea (4 pts)
• [Chris (26 pts)]
• Chelsea (4 pts)
• [Chris (26 pts)]

Michal & Ben: 58 points

• Wendell (25 pts)
• Jenna (5 pts)
• Laurel (19 pts)
• Sebastian (8 pts)
• Desiree (1 pts)

MoonBee: 38 points

• [Brendan (-6 pts)]
• [Libby (26 pts)]
• Kellyn (7 pts)
• Jenna (5 pts)
• [James (6 pts)]

Doug & Bri: 30 points

• [Stephanie (-5 pts)]
• Sebastian (8 pts)
• Donathan (14 pts)
• Kellyn (7 pts)
• [James (6 pts)]

Phil: 24 points

• [Brendan (-6 pts)]
• Dom (14 pts)
• Dom (14 pts)
• [Bradley (1 pts)]
• [Bradley (1 pts)]

Power Rankings:

1. Michal and Ben - I'm sticking with my girl Laurel to win this whole thing, so I'm keeping us in 1st place for now. Jenna & Seabass are looking like dead weight, but hopefully that means they rack up points going deep as coattail riders...
2. Bagginses - Baggins is down 1 player but could have 3 of the "final 4" if Wendell's plan actually happens. Is that a long shot to happen? Probably. But it's the only "final 4" that we know of now which I think lends it a little extra importance this season. 
3. Eric - Wow, Eric, nice run this episode! Really strong play from your team this episode. Now the question is if they can follow it up with another solid episode. Michael needs to get the target off his back ASAP for this team to have a legit chance. On the plus side, I think he's capable of pulling that off.
4. Doug and Bri - Doug & Bri are leading in the 2nd tier of teams, but things really aren't looking great for any of this group. I see the most potential with this team though.
5. Phil - Dom's solid reflection on his situation gives this team some hope. If he can pull out some idol plays, immunity challenge wins, etc. the double point value could put this team back in contention. But there is a LOT of ground to make up, so he needs to get on that fast.
6. MoonBee - With only Kellyn & Jenna on this team, MoonBee is pretty much toast this season. 
7. SuperDregs - Chelsea is sticking around which means each player voted out ahead of her will continue to be docked 1 point until she goes home. Which will inevitably happen in some kind of collateral damage scenario. 

Douche of the Week:

There were a few good options, but I'm going to give it to Wendell for not even trying at the immunity challenge.

Survivor Ghost Island: Episode 7

Many thanks to Moon for keeping this pool running while I was off gallivanting in the Pacific! I'm back now, and caught up on the greatest reality show in TV history, so here I go, banging on my keyboard to spew out highly biased but somewhat legitimate opinions about the show, the pool, and the castaways themselves.

Note: I've done some updating on points due to forgotten rules (e.g. the dreg rule where you lose points if your player gets voted out before a dreg) -- more of that may come soon.

Episode 7 was a fun one to watch as I did so with our house guest, one Adam Friedman. Adam, a wily, smart & opinionated professional poker player, is confident that he would do well on the show of Survivor. With that being said, he also can't understand how Evil Russell never won this show, so I pointed out that he might have to work on his social game.

The merge! The merge! And it's Dom-Chris Death Match 2. Dom prevails, but at what price? He used up a lot of his resources to nix his nemesis. Does he have what it takes to power through, maybe find another idol to make up for spending his legacy idol?

Chris finds an idol but loses his vote that week while extending his ability to use it one more week. Worth it? Not so much? Adam & I discussed this ad nauseum, including his decision not to play the idol in one of his only chances to do so. And gnight Chris.

The Teams:

Bagginses: 63 points

• [Stephanie (-5 pts)]
• Wendell (23 pts)
• Libby (14 pts)
• Laurel (17 pts)
• Donathan (14 pts)

SuperDreg: 56 points

• Chelsea (2 pts)
• [Chris (26 pts)]
• Chelsea (2 pts)
• [Chris (26 pts)]

Michal & Ben: 55 points

• Wendell (23 pts)
• Jenna (6 pts)
• Laurel (17 pts)
• Sebastian (8 pts)
• Desiree (1 pts)

Eric: 39 points

• Michael (7 pts)
• Michael (7 pts)
• Angela (12 pts)
• Angela (12 pts)
• Desiree (1 pts)

Doug & Bri: 30 points

• [Stephanie (-5 pts)]
• Sebastian (8 pts)
• Donathan (14 pts)
• Kellyn (7 pts)
• [James (6 pts)]

MoonBee: 27 points

• [Brendan (-6 pts)]
• Libby (14 pts)
• Kellyn (7 pts)
• Jenna (6 pts)
• [James (6 pts)]

Phil: 24 points

• [Brendan (-6 pts)]
• Dom (14 pts)
• Dom (14 pts)
• [Bradley (1 pts)]
• [Bradley (1 pts)]

Power Rankings:

1. Michal and Ben - All 5 players made the merge which is a powerful position to be in. Would be interesting to see the win rate of teams that bring all their players into the merge - I expect it's pretty high. Wendell is doing a solid job - great non-play of the idol this last week. However, my top ranked player right now is Laurel. She's doing the quiet crush right now but I think she's holding back & is going to blow people away pretty soon. Good decision not to his the NOS button too early though.
2. Bagginses - Donathan > Sebastian + Desiree. But I don't think that will be enough for this team to overtake us with the overlay, unless Libby starts taking off. We'll see how she reacts to having her name written down last week.
3. Eric - Michael made the merge and he could be a powerful competitor, ally, and swing vote now. Angela I find a very intriguing player as well, though she's unlikely to rack up big points in a post-merge universe. This double stack mctwisty team could make a huge run; so even though they're 20 points back now, we can't count them out, especially with 2 players that could easily have a deep run.
4. Doug and Bri - Unlike Moon, I really don't like Kellyn. She's smart, I'll give her that, but she's too emotional to win this game. Also appears to be really bad at math based on the insanely exuberant celebration of getting an advantage in a challenge she was 67% likely to win. Sebastian as a 2nd round pick may have been the worst draft decision of the night, despite the criticism of a Wendell #1 overall pick.
5. MoonBee - Moon's fondness for Kellyn may be based on a desperate hope that she will salvage this team. Libby & Jenna can't win it for them - they're also owned by higher-scoring teams. So it's Kellyn or bust!
6. SuperDregs - Chris really shouldn't have been a double dreg in the first place. But that happened, and now SuperDregs could beat a legit real team.
7. Phil - Dom didn't go home last week which would have been hilarious. But despite looking like a potential power couple with Wendell, Dom misplayed his legacy idol, wore that dumb fake idol around his neck at Tribal, made a huge fuss about hating Chris, and basically is setting himself up to be voted out soon. 

Douche of the Week:

Chris. So long and thanks for all the reasons to give you this vote. 

Survivor Ghost Island: Episode 6

Last week we did individual player rankings. This week we'll do team power rankings.

Power Rankings:

1) Michal & Ben: 52 points

• Wendell (22 pts)
• Jenna (6 pts)
• Laurel (16 pts)
• Sebastian (7 pts)
• Desiree (1 pt)

No one in this group has faced much adversity yet. Wendell distinguished himself in the last episode singing Happy Birthday for his girlfriend and finding an idol. It's possible the merge could toss some of these castaways into stormier waters, but they're all comfortable currently.


2) A to Z: 62 points

• Stephanie (-4 pts)
• Wendell (22 pts)
• Libby (14 pts)
• Laurel (16 pts)
• Donathan (14 pts)

This team is playing Libby and Donathan -10 pts against the Greenbergs' Jenna, Sebastian and Desiree. There is plenty of screen time of Libby walking on the beach in a bikini while others talk about how dangerous she is, but little of her talking to the camera one-on-one, so she may be packing her bags shortly.


3) Eric: 39 points

• Michael (7 pts)
• Michael (7 pts)
• Angela (12 pts)
• Angela (12 pts)
• Desiree (1 pt)

It's been a harrowing journey for Michael to the merge, but he made it. He's gotten the strongest edit of the remaining players, has no enemies, plays hard, has an idol no one knows about, and could win challenges down the stretch. However, he doesn't have people he can trust and will have to find some semblance of an alliance at some point.

4) SuperDreg: 38 points

• Chelsea (2 pts)
• Chris (17 pts)
• Chelsea (2 pts)
• Chris (17 pts)

Multiple teams may lose to the two-player SuperDreg. This shows the power of stacking, the power of an athletic player on an athletic tribe, and just how unpredictable Survivor is. It will be interesting to see which castaways recognize Chris as the dream ally and seek to take him deep. Or maybe he will lose his war with Dom and go home this week.

5) Doug & Bri: 25 points

• Stephanie (-4 pts)
• Sebastian (7 pts)
• Donathan (14 pts)
• Kellyn (1 pt)
• James (7 pts)

All things considered, Kellyn looks like the favorite heading into the merge. She has the acumen and determination necessary. She's shown she can make difficult decisions while displaying empathy and self-awareness - which should appeal to the jury if she gets there.

6) MoonBee: 23 points

• Brendan (-5 pts)
• Libby (14 pts)
• Kellyn (1 pt)
• Jenna (6 pts)
• James (7 pts)

Our remaining players are all capable of sitting at Final Tribal, but even if they do, they have a lot of points to make up on teams who have more players. Weak as this team is, we won't be adding to the trophy unless Dom outlasts our players.



7) Phil: 27 points

• Brendan (-5 pts)
• Dom (14 pts)
• Dom (14 pts)
• Bradley (2 pts)
• Bradley (2 pts)

Bradley pushed the barriers of acceptable dickheadedness as far as they could be pushed and ultimately they snapped. Personally I would have kept him around cause that's the kind of guy you want to go to Final Tribal with, or you can dispatch him later. But I don't have to be around the guy all day. Melissa and I wonder if he will undergo some personal growth from watching these episodes or dismiss it as a fake news edit. If Dom goes out in a do-or-die battle with Chris next week, this could finish as one of the worst teams in pool history. 

Survivor Ghost Island: Episodes 4 & 5

 This has been a poor season thus far. An uninspiring cast, habitual buff drops, and the elimination of some of the season's more charismatic castaways have all served as snooze buttons to the meat of this season, which will be post-merge. At that point, unburdened by boringly strong tribal alliances, we will see the mettle of this season's cast revealed. This is Survivor, a foolproof formula, and the season will eventually pay off with plenty of legitimate drama. Empathetic characters are starting to overcome the narcissists, in game power and screen time.  My power rankings of the remaining castaways are mostly based on how I believe they will perform in the eventual post-merge world, tempered with consideration for the small tribe they're currently with.


Player Power Rankings:

1. Laurel is a talented athletic and social player. She’s cruising, and she landed on a tribe that seems perfect for her.

2. Jenna was desperate for a tribe swap and got it. Now she’s on a super-athletic tribe that could go on a run of challenge wins. 

3. Wendell was a strange choice for #1 overall, but he’s outlived his brethren first rounders and sits amongst the points leaders.  

4. Kellyn is playing an excellent social game, displaying empathy for those she’s assassinating. This isn’t the strongest strategic crew, so she might be able to play an Axis of Evil game with Bradley if she chooses. Kellyn’s problem is that she’s scored negative one points so far. 

5. Michael garnered heroism points with his idol giveaway right before the swap appeared to bail him out. But he landed in another bad spot and immediately lost the immunity challenge. Now he’s next on the chopping block. He’s a strong, hungry player with a lot of game, but has to be docked for his position and that he has yet to score a point.

6. Bradley showed some humility by quickly admitting he underestimated Michael. “I was dead wrong,” he said. Cocky, yes. Egomaniac, no.

7. Dom got a lot of attention early in his feud with Chris, but has since been less involved. That’s for the best for him – he needs to lay low and make his move late.

8. Donathan is making emotional connections with players. There’s not really much reason to vote him out, so he could last quite a while. He’s off to a nice start in points.

9. Libby is a dangerous player, but her reputation is that she’s a dangerous player, making her less dangerous.

10. Sebastian isn't bright or aggressive, but he doesn't attract negative attention and landed on the athletic tribe. 

11. Angela is viewed as a maniac, especially by Kellyn, but seems misperceived by her fellow castaways. She generally seems pretty calm and rational.

12. Chris is an impressive athlete. If he’s brought along by smart players who know no jury will vote for him, he could pile up a huge total through challenges. He should also win Douche of the Season.

13. Desiree survived an immunity challenge choke, but doesn’t appear to have many strong connections going.

14. Chelsea isn’t distinguishing herself. That doesn’t mean she can’t hang around for a while, but Final Tribal seems unlikely.

Standings:

A to Z: 46 points

• Stephanie (-4 pts)
• Wendell (13 pts)
• Libby (12 pts)
• Laurel (13 pts)
• Donathan (12 pts)

Michal & Ben: 31 points

• Wendell (13 pts)
• Jenna (3 pts)
• Laurel (13 pts)
• Sebastian (3 pts)
• Desiree (-1 pts)

SuperDreg: 28 points

• Chelsea (-1 pts)
• Chris (5 pts)
• Chelsea (-1 pts)
• Chris (5 pts)

Phil: 25 points

• Brendan (-5 pts)
• Dom (13 pts)
• Dom (13 pts)
• Bradley (2 pts)
• Bradley (2 pts)

Eric: 19 points

• Michael (0 pts)
• Michael (0 pts)
• Angela (10 pts)
• Angela (10 pts)
• Desiree (-1 pts)

Doug & Bri: 17 points

• Stephanie (-4 pts)
• Sebastian (3 pts)
• Donathan (12 pts)
• Kellyn (-1 pts)
• James (7 pts)

MoonBee: 16 points

• Brendan (-5 pts)
• Libby (12 pts)
• Kellyn (-1 pts)
• Jenna (3 pts)
• James (7 pts)

Survivor Ghost Island: Draft & Episode 3

We're sticking with our 6 team, double draft format for Ghost Island & here we go! Full drafting order, rules, and scoring can be found in The Spreadsheet. There was relatively low drama, though I got a decent ribbing for drafting Wendell first. 

And now I’m seeing the “previously on Survivor” intro and realizing why. Turns out I missed most of the debate at the end of the previous episode. I’d assumed it was an easy Angela vote & had pretty much stopped watching… But just like Dom & Wendell I will cry about what a disaster last night was & then move on!

Dom was gifted the legacy idol & I’m pretty sure we have a rule for that. Ooh, +1 to you, Dom. Cheers. (clink)

Now we’re on to the team reward challenge that historically is super biased towards the most physical & brutal players. Chelsea sits out & the superdregs are here to prove that we all know what we’re doing!

Purple ends up winning the reward largely thanks to Laurel being a physical beast. When it’s time to pick who’s sent to Ghost Island, the decision is immediately that they go straight to rocks for who goes. Grrrr. Are you not even going to try to play the game? Kellyn is off to the Island and she gets -1 for choosing not to play? Maybe? Was that part of the new rule? I’m annoyed enough by the rock-picking decision that I’m inclined to give Kellyn & the entire purple tribe a -1!

The Chris v. Dom drama is such a waste of energy. I see why others want Chris out since he’s such a bully, I guess, but their feud has put all the targets on those two. And it’s their own fault.

Purple pulls off a massive comeback in the immunity challenge and then we get to watch Bradley put on a display of pompous douchery like I haven’t seen in Survivor before. It’s a law school student / psychopath combo come to life. But in a kind of weird way considering that he’s covered in dirt, not great at challenges, and probably just came back from a poop in the woods.

I’m not following the tribal convo too closely because I’m completely mesmerized by Brendan’s jaw. Has it actually gotten bigger over the last 3 episodes?

Sebastian’s comment of “I don’t know what just happened” will probably epitomize his entire Survivor game this season. That dude doesn’t seem so smart.

For medical reasons, Brendan is sent home. His tribe was so worried his jaw was going to fall right off his face due to its inordinate size. And suddenly drafting Wendell looked like a much better bet than it did at the start of this blog post. Hope.

So far I think this is a promising season. The Ghost Island theme is inoffensive & I enjoy revisiting some of those classic past mistakes. There’s some fools for sure, but there are plenty of players as well. Lots of folks to cheer for & against too. I’m looking forward to it!

The Teams:

Please submit team names soon! 

Bagginses: 20 points

• Stephanie (0 pts)
• Wendell (5 pts)
• Libby (5 pts)
• Laurel (5 pts)
• Donathan (5 pts)

Michal & Ben: 9 points

• Wendell (5 pts)
• Jenna (0 pts)
• Laurel (5 pts)
• Sebastian (0 pts)
• Desiree (-1 pts)

Doug & Bri: 9 points

• Stephanie (0 pts)
• Sebastian (0 pts)
• Donathan (5 pts)
• Kellyn (-1 pts)
• James (5 pts)

Eric: 9 points

• Michael (0 pts)
• Michael (0 pts)
• Angela (5 pts)
• Angela (5 pts)
• Desiree (-1 pts)

SuperDreg: 8 points

• Chelsea (-1 pts)
• Chris (5 pts)
• Chelsea (-1 pts)
• Chris (5 pts)

Phil: 7 points

• Brendan (-5 pts)
• Dom (6 pts)
• Dom (6 pts)
• Bradley (0 pts)
• Bradley (0 pts)

MoonBee: 4 points

• Brendan (-5 pts)
• Libby (5 pts)
• Kellyn (-1 pts)
• Jenna (0 pts)
• James (5 pts)

Power Rankings:

1. Bagginses - can it be? Does Baggins really have the best team? It looks pretty well rounded to me. He's got strength with Wendell & Laurel, strategy with Stephanie, and the heart-warming story arc with Donathan. I think this might be a surprisingly good season for this team.
   
2. Michal & Ben - Ben didn't have a chance to watch the episodes before the draft, so this one's on me. I was pretty disappointed with my team yesterday but honestly I'm feeling better about it today. Sebastian is dumb as rocks but Laurel was pleasantly impressive.
   
3. Eric - Michael is willing to play, and while the double-double draft is risky in my opinion, this team could rake it in going against the chalk like that.
   
4. Doug & Bri - I love Stephanie as their top pick, but the rest of their team reads like a Wizard of Oz band. One's searching for his brain, another for love, another for swim lessons, etc. With that being said, Doug & Bri's teams are usually competitive every season, so I don't want to discount them.
   
5. Phil - Dom has the potential to do big things this season, but the rest of this team is a disaster. Bradley is the WOAT, and honestly Phil is pretty lucky that I'm not ranking him below the SuperDregs, that's how much I hate that guy. But Dom has enough going for him that he might drag this team along for a while in spite of that pampered, spoiled, Cillian Murphy impersonator.
   
6. Moon & Melissa - With Brendan's early exit I think this team could struggle to earn points in challenges. There could be some decent game play here though.
   
7. SuperDregs - With 4 players on this team, SuperDregs will be considered just like another team. I still literally know nothing about Chelsea, and I'm just waiting for Chris to be taken out. He reminds me of the bad guy kid from Hunger Games that Catniss takes out at the very end. In both looks & attitude. 

Douche of the Week:

Bradley, obviously.

Survivor 3H Club: Finale

Probst does his usual “get excited for the reunion” bullshit and then they dive into introductions of the remaining players. Dr. Mike and Ben seem to get realistic introductions but then they get to Devon & Ryan. Devon is portrayed as a game-long mastermind and Ryan as a social genius. Hmmm, that feels off the mark to me.

Why does Stupid Alliance keep telling themselves that there’s no way Ben can find another idol? Or that there won’t be another idol out there? All evidence to the contrary. Just another indicator of why this is a weak season.

Mad props to Ben for searching for an idol literally all night. That dude is committed. I’m happy that all the hard work was rewarded with a pre-dawn idol find. And it totally serves the others right too.

The challenge is both for immunity & reward, and the “puzzle” feels like something everyone should be good at, but I guess we’ll see. Ultimately Chrissy wins. Again. And earns a whopping 10 points for the combo immunity/reward. Then Ryan is laughably referred to as Ben’s babysitter and it’s basically the same as calling that goat from Jurassic Park the T-Rex’s babysitter.

To be fair, Chrissy’s old super idol is way better looking than Ben’s legit idol. But it couldn’t be more apparent that they were faking it EVEN if he hadn’t already found the idol! I mean really, if they are all saying that they are 100% gunning for him then why on earth would they flash that shit around in front of him? Ben would have figured that out if he'd needed to. 

Tribal council is another perfectly played moment for Ben, giving Stupid Alliance no reason to feel the impulse to use their brains. And then the jury has a field day right alongside him when he pulls out his boot idol.

Smarty Pants Devon gets props for voting for Dr. Mike and it pays off huge with a big save and also a nice resume-building moment. Dr. Mike, you will not be missed.

Now, for the first time ever if they claim that Ben can’t find an idol it will actually be true. Instead we have to listen to Ryan talk about his game was being ruined by Ben. Dude, you have NO game. That’s not Ben’s fault.

Secret advantage has to be something to do with the jury, right?

Immunity challenge is on! Ben is one upside-down letter away from winning, but he chokes, and what follows is a hilarious montage of letters falling off of everyone’s boards. Chrissy wins. Again.

And the secret advantage turns out not be an advantage at all! It’s basically the producers doing whatever they can to get Ben into the Final Three. Cheap shot & it makes me hates this season even more.

Devon weirdly is excited to suddenly be at risk of going home. Kudos to him for the positive attitude. I guess it can be seen as another resume boost, and if he’s well-spoken I’d be hard pressed not to vote for him at final. But man I’d be pissed at Ryan if I was him because that dude is so incompetent. He does not deserve to be in the Final Three and I’d be furious that he was just given a free ride to get there.

Final Tribal starts off with a congrats to Chrissy on her immunity challenge prowess. You may be one cocky beotch & aren’t nearly as smart as you think you are, but damn if you aren’t a challenge beast.

And now we’re on to the “you gotta earn it” fire challenge. Everyone’s thrilled over there in Fiji, but I’m just steaming on the couch here. Probst looks like he’s commentating in a semi-comatose state, almost as if the outcome is already known. Rigged? Hard to believe that Devon didn’t even have a spark going by the time Ben won…. And seriously, I’d expect Probst to have been way more excited about a tribal council fire challenge.

At Final Tribal, the jury is having a solid conversation about who did what and what makes a person deserving of winning Survivor. Along the way Blog Crush #1 gives some reaffirming statements to everyone while looking like a movie star on a red carpet. And then Blog Crush #2 says “umm, okay, can we move on?” and then probably throws a softball 100 yards into a trash can. I love you both so much!

New jury format is a really successful change to the show. Remember when each jury member was just allowed to ask one question, rather than have a solid debate? Chrissy is working it, and somehow Ben is fading into the shadows. Joe actually calls him out on that, which is awesome sauce. Joe = jury MVP, and may have turned the tide Ben's way.

Ben wins in the end & while I think he's a deserving winner, it feels really cheap. I like the guy, don’t get me wrong, but his game should have had him voted out 4^th. There’s even a section in Wikipedia about that stupid fire challenge.

Next season is Survivor: Ghost Island. According to this page, “Season 36, officially called Survivor: Ghost Island, premiering Feb. 28 on CBS, features 20 new castaways forced to confront old mistakes from seasons past.” New castaways are never as good as all-star seasons, but I will admit that my curiosity is piqued by the theme.

The Teams:

Doug & Bri "Cowboys & Estrogen" - 228 points

• Ben (84 pts)
• Ali (2 pts)
• Chrissy (76 pts)
• Desi (25 pts)
• Ashley (41 pts)

Eric "Two Laurens Don't Make a Right" - 189 points

• Ben (84 pts)
• Lauren (39 pts)
• JP (26 pts)
• Lauren (39 pts)
• Alan (1 pt)

Moon & Melissa "2 Cups of Joe" - 185 points

• Ryan (31 pts)
• Cole (37 pts)
• Joe (38 pts)
• Joe (38 pts)
• Ashley (41 pts)

Phil "Scrub Island Featuring Superscrub Roark" - 166 points

• Mike (37 pts)
• Chrissy (76 pts)
• Roark (2 pts)
• JP (26 pts)
• Desi (25 pts)

Michal & Ben "The Candlestick Makers" - 115 points

• Ryan (31 pts)
• Cole (37 pts)
• Devon (30 pts)
• Jessica (15 pts)
• Roark (2 pts)

Bagdrea "Surfing with Chick Hicks" - 85 points

• Devon (30 pts)
• Mike (37 pts)
• Ali (2 pts)
• Jessica (15 pts)
• Alan (1 pt)

To the Victors Go the Spoils

And this time around that comes in the form of a new trophy! Congrats to Doug & Bri for crushing it all season long with their picks. A well deserved win for the Cowboys, and a solid showing from our n00bs to the pool. If you hadn't each essentially doubled Bag's score, we would have scorned you. 

A note: I didn't include DoW points in this season because 1) I'm lazy, and 2) it woud'nt have mattered anyway. Joe probably would have won it, which would have bumped Cuppa into 2nd place, but no one really cares about that. 

Other Thoughts

Weak season overall imo, but I'm not sure if that's entirely the castaways' faults. I think there may have been some really bad editing/producing decisions made. It seems like there was a lot more scheming that went on than was shown on screen. Maybe I just wasn't picking up on it, but it felt like they spent more time on trivial romances & jokes about urologists than on the players' strategies. I also need more enthusiasm from Probst in any given season. Hopefully he'll get pumped up for next season's theme. After all, he donated all of his snuffers for it. If not, Probst, I think it might be time to move on? I feel terrible for even suggesting it, but an enthusiastic Colby as host would have made this a totally different experience for me. 

Next Season

Share your thoughts on next season! Also I'm going to be out of the country starting in mid-March, so maybe we draft after just 1 episode? 

Survivor 3H Club: Episodes 12 & 13

Note: I think maybe Episode 11 was the 2nd half of episode 10? Otherwise my tracking is somehow off....

Episode 12

Ryan and Chrissy realize that Ben betrayed them and Chrissy loses her shit again. There's definitely a pot/kettle scenario between Ben & Chrissy where they both deride the other for taking things too personally. Meanwhile, Lauren is as cool as a cucumber with her moves, though maybe a little too comfortable with her position.

The new Survivor reward challenge includes loved ones, which means Probst gets to do what he loves most: talk about love, trust, and relationships. Lauren’s sister hugs Probst and #Blindside. Then Chrissy talks about giving up her job & devoting her life to her family and I’m wondering if anyone wants to take a bet on that actually happening?

The reward challenge itself is based entirely on luck if not completed rigged and I got to say that this is a bunch of BS. Chrissy is super predictable in her vindictive selection of loved ones sharing the reward. “Like an assassin” Probst quips as she disses half the castaways. Assassin? Really?

As I’m updating the scores I realize that Eric is in the spreadsheet too. Perhaps eagerly awaiting score updates? Sorry Eric, I’m still an episode behind! But keep on creepin' on, I'll get there eventually.

Meanwhile back at camp Ben is making a fake idol. YES!! I so love it when I get to use our fake idol rules! Lauren aka Blog Crush #2 is playing a professional game, and finds an immunity clue. Love that she called her alliance over when she found the marker. No need to lose trust at this time by trying to grab it before they notice. 

The immunity challenge is the iron cross and Ryan’s boogie to keep his plates up is anti-sexy. Devon’s hula is more attractive, but his decision to lose the challenge is a frustrating swing for the teams already in last place. Can’t you give us even a little hope, Devon?

While Lauren, Devon, and Ashley consider Ben v. Chrissy, Ben tries to make a move by turning folks against Lauren. Chrissy’s immaturity opens the door for Dr. Mike to make a big move and he chooses to... burn half of Lauren’s idol. Huh? How can that ever possibly make sense, especially considering that Dr. Mike essentially has no alliance?

The whole “let’s put everything on the table” infosplosion that happens during this tribal really helps no one. But it makes more sense to me than Lauren handing half an idol to Dr. Mike. I really don’t understand that. When is that ever a good move? This whole storyline of her handing him half an idol so casually that there wasn't even a conversation included with the hand-off, followed by Dr. Mike burning it just straight-up boggles my mind. Anyone want to fill me in on what they think happened here? Is Dr. Mike just straight up pooky dooks? Note: this link may make no sense, but I couldn't find the right one, and at least this was at least from the right movie.

In the end, everyone votes for Ben and he plays the one idol no one actually knew about. Play on, playa. Gnight Lauren, and Blog Crush #2 gets to join Blog Crush #1 among the mass of men’s tank tops that seem to be infecting the jury.

Note: not really sure how to award/dock points for Dr. Mike burning the idol. Lauren got sent home with half an idol in her pocket, but since that’s pretty much useless, I didn’t dock her points.

Episode 13

The episode starts with Ben acting high off his fabulous play at last tribal. He does a pretty good job of coming back to reality and realizing he doesn’t have any alliance to protect him now. They are all-in on the Ben hate train, including Devon making bold claims that he can take Ben down in challenges, which is clearly not backed-up by his poor score in this fantasy pool.

The reward challenge includes 2 strong teams, and then Ryan & Mike who are playing on the JV team. Devon & Chrissy end up winning, but I gotta question the ring toss technique. It was like watching a child at a bowling alley, Devon. 

And speaking of children, Ashley & Dr. Mike both bitch and whine at camp and generally act like sulky brats. Still, neither one is willing to work with Ben, and that’s a tough spot. Being stuck at camp with a couple of babies and not even being able to play the game while there? Not a fun day. Meanwhile, Devon considers a new alliance at a gorgeous resort hotel. #Jealous.  

The immunity challenge results in Chrissy winning. Apparently she’s the only one who can do puzzles.

At tribal I feel like everyone is just being petty. Thank goodness Devon calls out Ben on maybe not playing the idol because that was gonna really bug me. Nice rebuttal from Ben when he insta-plays it. Ashley ends up going home as someone who is clearly the bigger threat compared to Dr. Mike or Ryan. And in keeping with the theme of the episode, she acts like a giant baby on the way out.

This takes me back a few episodes to the moment when Ashley first thinks they should vote out Ben. And they never really explained why that alliance wussed out on that one, because that truly was the moment that they should have gone for it. That was Ashley's chance to determine her own fate & it just didn’t work out. I just wish I knew why. She was a solid player late in the game, and I think the finale will be less exciting with her not there. 

And now there are 5 castaways left and really only one question left – how could Ryan have possibly made it to the final 5 and only earned 6 points!??! I have never seen such a pathetic performance in Survivor history!! Devon is only barely doing better at 12 points. Seriously, this is a weak point-earning field outside of Chrissy’s puzzle prowess and Ben’s idol-hunting instincts.

What can we expect next week? Well, there's a good chance that Ben will be underestimated again & he'll find an idol. Again. Everyone will want to take Ryan & Dr. Mike to the Final 3 unless they're stupid. Those guys have no chance of winning and are huge disappointments. The bring down the good name of geeky but good-hearted contestants a la Cochran & David. Chrissy is going to be unbearably cocky since she's been gunning for Ashley and probably will somehow take the credit for what happened at last tribal. And Devon will think he's all that + a bag of chips, but I certainly wouldn't vote for him over Ben & I'm not sure these guys can take him out.  Should be fun!!

The Teams:

Moon & Melissa "2 Cups of Joe" - 160 points

• Ryan (6 pts)
• Cole (37 pts)
• Joe (38 pts)
• Joe (38 pts)
• Ashley (41 pts)

Eric "Two Laurens Don't Make a Right" - 149 points

• Ben (44 pts)
• Lauren (39 pts)
• JP (26 pts)
• Lauren (39 pts)
• Alan (1 pt)

Doug & Bri "Cowboys & Estrogen" - 142 points

• Ben (44 pts)
• Ali (2 pts)
• Chrissy (30 pts)
• Desi (25 pts)
• Ashley (41 pts)

Phil "Scrub Island Featuring Superscrub Roark" - 103 points

• Mike (20 pts)
• Chrissy (30 pts)
• Roark (2 pts)
• JP (26 pts)
• Desi (25 pts)

Michal & Ben "The Candlestick Makers" - 72 points

• Ryan (6 pts)
• Cole (37 pts)
• Devon (12 pts)
• Jessica (15 pts)
• Roark (2 pts)

Bagdrea "Surfing with Chick Hicks" - 50points

• Devon (12 pts)
• Mike (20 pts)
• Ali (2 pts)
• Jessica (15 pts)
• Alan (1 pt)

Power Rankings:

1. Cowboys: this one is Doug & Bri's to lose. I just don't see how it could happen unless Ryan turns out to be a brilliant orator and sweeps the vote at final tribal. Unlikely.
   
2. Cuppa: I mean I guess it could happen....? At least this time has any chance to win, unlike Candlesticks, Chick hicks & 2 Laurens who literally can't beat them.
   
3. Scrub Island: a Dr. Mike vote sweep would also do the trick I think...
   
4. 2 Laurens: Good run Eric, a solid performance from both the n00b teams, both in competing in the pool as well as in comments & commitment. I don't know that I loved having each castaway get drafted twice, but I did like the new blood that got added this season.
   
5. Candlesticks: Such a disappointing season for the reigning champs. With 2 players left this late in the game we should still be in competition. But this group of under-performers proves that there's more to the pool than picking castaways that will go deep in the game. They actually have to do stuff too. And that stuff can't be eating the entire tribe's food, damnit Cole!
   
6. Chick Hicks: Fortunately Bag is here to save us from making the next addition to the trophy. Bag, do not mess this up. 

DoW:

Chrissy for me on both episodes. So infuriating, especially when she tells her own alliance that she might just change her vote at the last minute at tribal council & seems to assume they'll be okay with that. What is wrong with you woman!?