Survivor Retrospective: Philippines

Rating: 7/10

Entertaining and satisfying from its first moment to its last, Philippines splendidly busted the franchise out of its post-Heroes vs Villains doldrums. Philippines righted the ship with a simple fix: trading in some dumb youngsters for a few older players with brain cells. 

Philippines used two gimmicks as a launchpad, one all its contestants were aware of and one that was only advertised to the audience. Three players who'd been med-evaced in the midst of strong performances - The Australian Outback's Michael Skupin, Samoa's Russell Swan and  Jonathan Penner of Cook Islands and Micronesia - returned to battle. Meanwhile, producers implanted two celebrities not quite famous enough to pretend they weren't: Facts of Life childhood star Lisa Whelchel and former Major League Baseball stud Jeff Kent. Both elected to keep their celebrity hidden, a major source of intrigue for the season's opening episodes. Skupin and Penner immediately recognized Lisa - Skupin almost called her "Blair", her Facts of Life character - but told no one but her. Jeff Kent was quickly identified by a young player named Sarah Dawson, who elected to keep the secret in her back pocket for a strategic moment that never arrived. Dawson toyed with Jeff, often bringing up baseball in tribe conversations. He helped orchestrate a blindside of Dawson, who kissed Jeff Probst on her way out and kept Jeff Kent's secret. Kent turned out to be quite a strategist, while Lisa developed into one over the course of the season. Both would have been strong castaways without their secret fame, and Lisa even won the fan favorite award.

Philippines unusually started with three tribes, each including a returning player. Russell Swan's Matsing tribe floundered and lost the first four challenges. Their struggles allowed for plenty of character development for the two allies who'd survive the bloodletting: Denise and Malcolm. The latter immediately announced he'd lived in Micronesia for a year, helped start a fire, solidified his standing in the team challenges and revealed a calculating strategic facet in confessionals. He was one of the best players of the show's first twenty-five seasons, though he failed to bring home the bacon from the Philippines or either of his next two attempts. Denise kept a lower profile but may have been an even better player. She was a sneakily effective physical, mental and social player imbued with resilience, self-reliance and toughness. When Matsing dwindled to two, Denise and Malcolm were distributed to other tribes instead of being forced into a Bobby Jon/Stephenie scenario. Both quickly ascended their tribes' pecking orders.

On the Kalabaw tribe, Jeff Kent initially targeted Penner but decided to ally with him and Carter eight days in, splitting the tribe into male and female alliances. The females lost the battle after Dana's exit, which was somewhere between a med-evac and a quit. Penner was set to be ousted first after the merge, but he successfully played an idol and triumphed in a must-win immunity challenge. Though Philippines was probably Penner's finest effort, he ultimately sabotaged himself by wasting his vote in a wild Tribal Council that ended with Jeff Kent's elimination and later failing to commit to Lisa and Skupin at the critical moment. Penner brought plenty to the Survivor table - articulation and a rugged brand of integrity in particular - but never managed to merge the three core aspects of the game.

The Tandang tribe should have controlled the game and emerged with its champion, as they avoided Tribal before the Merge and arrived there with a majority. But Tandang's house crumbled on its rotten foundation. Loathsome Abi-Maria told savvy, cold Pete about an idol clue she and RC found together. Then Pete moved the clue so others would find it, framing RC and deepening Abi's mistrust of her. Abi arranged RC's exit upon the merge. Eventually Skupin and then Lisa had enough of the meanies and bailed on Tandang.

Down the stretch, Penner implored Lisa and Skupin to side with him, noting they couldn't beat Denise and Malcolm. "Going to the end with Malcolm and Denise is not a great strategy," Lisa admitted. "But betraying that trust opposes who I am." Lisa and Skupin did prepare to blindside Malcolm with six players left, but he eked out immunity. They offed good-natured, honorable Carter instead. "They're playing with their heads, not their hearts," he said in his exit interview. Malcolm won immunity again with five left and kept the idol for his mother so Lisa and Skupin wouldn't believe his alliance with Denise was binding. Lisa and Skupin considered ousting Denise at that point, but elected to keep her over Abi in hopes Denise could defeat Malcolm in final immunity. She didn't, but Skupin did, and they all reneged on previously-established alliances with Malcolm. On his way out, he sarcastically congratulated Denise on her victory to antagonize Lisa and Skupin. The teacher and bartender remains one of the best players never to win Survivor.

Malcolm was right: Denise got six votes at Final Tribal while Lisa and Skupin each garnered only one. Malcolm almost surely would have defeated Lisa and Skupin as well, though the Jury indicated in the Reunion they would have gone with Denise over Malcolm. While the Edit glamorized Malcolm, Denise quietly submitted a masterful performance. She attended and survived every Tribal Council. She tapped into her profession as a therapist, listening to each castaway and tracking their proclivities. She handled the elemental rigors - including a prolonged stretch of torrential rain to begin the season - without complaint and performed well in challenges. 

Though Denise trounced Lisa and Skupin at Final Tribal, it's not as if they were goats. Both developed into robust players as the season progressed, overcoming a number of strong competitors to get to the end. Jeff Kent was as fierce a competitor as they come, Penner played his best game and Carter was universally liked. Even Abi-Maria displayed some gumption, pretending in front of Jeff Probst and everyone else an advantage she bought at the auction had multiple features and winning a must-win immunity. The heightened acumen of its cast made Philippines an all-around excellent season.

Survivor Retrospective: The Australian Outback

Rating: 6.5/10

Survivor's second season entrenched the franchise as a fixture in American media. The Australian Outback polished the novelty of the debut season into a potent, permanent formula. Outback's production values were clearly elevated from primitive Borneo, yet the show still felt woodsy and authentic. While later casts would surpass Outback's in charisma, strategy and aesthetics, fully half of Outback's vintage crew - not including its biggest future TV star - returned for later seasons. The group took a step forward from Borneo's in every aspect but diversity. The season wasn't as dramatic as its seminal moments would suggest, but those highlights accentuated The Australian Outback for decades afterwards. It was the most-viewed season in franchise history.

Early episodes focused on the vagaries of camp life: shelter-building, micro-interactions, a forest fire, Jerri's accusation of Kel smuggling beef jerky and Michael's hunting obsession. The season's only true strategist, Jeff Varner, began scheming as soon as his stomach settled. Gangly Mitchell succumbed to the elements and the "previous votes" tiebreaker after a split vote with Chef Keith. 

Mike eventually located, hunted and stabbed a wild pig to death. But the realization of his fantasy was not the moment he'd be remembered best for. That came days later when he inhaled smoke while tending the fire, passed out and severely burned his hands. Cameras didn't capture the incident, but they did show prolonged shots of Mike suffering extreme pain in the aftermath. Medical was quickly summoned, Mike asked for and received anesthetics and flew off in a helicopter. He got another shot, but certainly won't get a third after a ponzi scheme investigation uncovered child pornography on his laptop.

Mike's exit was the turning point. His Kucha tribe had held a numbers edge, but slipped even with Ogakor at 5-5 without him. Before the first merged Tribal, word leaked to Ogakor that Jeff had received votes. They targeted him, nobody wavered and Jeff lost the antiquated "previous votes" tiebreaker to become the first member of the jury. His preternatural strategic feel garnered him two more cracks at the game, though his third appearance ended shamefully.

Ogakor dispatched Alicia to make it 5-3, then proactively turned on Jerri. Survivor's first villain wasn't nearly as nefarious as future scoundrels. She wasn't quite the femme fatale the Edit strived for, just an unsettled Los Angelina in touch with her unwholesome thoughts. The Edit used her as a foil against archetypal Cutie Elisabeth, who parlayed a deep run into American Sweetheart notoriety and a lengthy TV talk show career that included a 10-year run as The View's conservative voice.

Ogakor regrouped to oust Harvard Law student Nick, whose Final Tribal questions uncovered a thoughtful tactician the Edit did not. Colby, Keith and Tina then proactively eliminated luminous young Amber. She knew she was on the wrong side of her alliance when they dusted Jerri without telling her, but had no hope of cracking Elisabeth and Rodger's iron-clad bond. Such were the concerns of the two-person Final Tribal era. As one of the most successful castaways in franchise history, Amber got the last laugh.

Colby had thoughts of siding with the more likable Elisabeth & Rodger over Keith. But he and Tina elected to bring Survivor's first goat to final three. Charismatic Texan Colby was the season's protagonist. He'd assumed Ogakor tour guide duties from day one and consolidated them for the merged tribe after Jeff's ouster. He convinced Jerri and Amber they were his final three but told cameras it was Keith and Tina, deftly executing premedidated endgame strategy with more discretion than season one winner Richard Hatch. Colby won every challenge down the stretch - including some truly individual rewards climaxing in a truck - so we never found out if Tina would've stuck with him as he did with her. After winning Final Immunity, he opted to go to Final Tribal with Tina fully aware a date with Keith would've ensured the million. Tina's authenticity registered well with the Jury and she "upset" Colby 4-3 to become Survivor's second champion.

The surprise votes and blindsides were actually underproduced, as more emphasis was given to battles of the elemental variety than the strategic. Just a few minutes were reserved for Tribal Councils. Producers believed physical struggle made for compelling television. While the best Survivor seasons proved strategy should be prioritized instead, producers would eventually fall into a formulaic trap of dramatizing every vote. Often, battles against nature are actually more dramatic - especially in a legitimately wild environment like the Outback.

There was an awful lot of talk surrounding the amount of rice they had, how to ration it and how to prepare it. Despite all the discussion, they ate it too fast and had to trade part of their shelter for more - days before a flash flood obliterated their camp, washing away their fishing hooks and the bartered rice. They were able to locate the rice tin downstream and rescued it in one of the game's rare gleeful moments. The struggle was real: Keith wound up losing 27 pounds, Colby 25. Copious shots of crocodiles and kangaroos accompanied by a didgeridoo further underscored the uniqueness of the environment, a far cry from the sterile South Pacific bubbles the franchise eventually settled into. The Australian Outback was an indispensable second chapter in the Survivor canon thanks to its primal authenticity and progressive cultivation of the franchise.

Survivor Retrospective: One World

Rating: 4/10

One World continued the dismal run of post Heroes vs. Villains seasons characterized by dimwitted, youthful gameplay. Like Nicaragua, Redemption Island and South Pacific, most of the season's inhabitants appeared to be selected for their age and aesthetics rather than their personalities. Like the latter two, One World was worth watching for a dominant blueprint performance from one of its all-time greatest competitors. Its winner quickly seized control of another flock of birdbrained youngsters, confided her brilliance only in confessionals and cruised to arguably the most impressive win in Survivor history.

One World reprised Survivor's tried-and-not-always-true battle of the sexes gimmick, splitting its castaways into male and female tribes. The twist was that they lived and interacted on the same beach. The women weren't particularly interesting, but their interactions were more compelling than those of the Y-chromosome dullards. After a female med-evac, the men curiously asked the women if they could go to Tribal after winning immunity. It was hard to ascertain exactly why, but the motivation appeared to be Colton's distaste for homeless stand-up comic Bill. Colton, a mean young rich gay southern Republican, was the premier source of strategy and entertainment among the males. The season lost much of its watchability when he was med-evaced, parsimoniously holding onto the idol he'd found as a souvenir. 

After Colton's med-evac, it was the Kim Spradlin show. She found an idol and told one confidante, Chelsea, who wasn't a goat but remained loyal to Kim without challenging her resume. Kim took advantage of a tribal swap to make inroads with some of the men before betraying them post-merge in favor of her original female allies. The female alliance subsisted because Kim viewed it as her best avenue to Final Tribal, not because of enduring gender loyalty. Kim initially tipped the scales by telling Troyzan Mike was trying to eliminate him, taking advantage of Troyzan's paranoia. Troyzan complied, Mike was sent to Ponderosa, and the men were systematically slain thereafter. Troyzan assembled enough moments (finding an idol and keeping it to himself, imploring the tribe to go after Kim with nine left, winning immunities with his head on the block, fashioning fake idols) to garner a return appearance. So did Kat, who somehow displayed life wisdom along moments of incredible daftness. 

Kim dominated the immunity challenges after Troyzan's dismissal, removing all shreds of intrigue before her 7-2-0 victory. Kim played chess while the other women played checkers (and Christina played tic-tac-toe, poorly). Kim played moves ahead, recognizing the danger of accentuating herself. She couldn't contain her accolades, but established such strong trust with her allies they never considered voting her out. Kim was warm and accommodating on the outside and cold and calculating on the inside. Her confessionals revealed an icy strategic side she managed to hide from her allies. The finale's highest drama wasn't who would win, but who Kim would take with her. She decided to go with her strongest allies Chelsea and Sabrina over Christina - who she'd earlier said would be a no-brainer - because she didn't need to sit next to goats to win. Chelsea and Sabrina didn't deliver awful performances at Final Tribal, but both acknowledged Kim's impact on their game. Kim swept the Fan Favorite vote as well to punctuate her tour-de-force.

Survivor Retrospective: South Pacific

Rating: 5.5/10

South Pacific was a season of strengths and weaknesses. It featured some firmly compelling stories: the most exciting challenge arc in franchise history, Coach's satisfying evolution into a measured leader, the introduction of one of the the show's brightest personalities and a blueprint championship performance from one of Survivor's greatest players. South Pacific also featured long streaks of predictable vote-outs, a series of cringeworthy Tribal Councils, generous screentime devoted to inane players and unsavory religious overtones. South Pacific repeated Redemption Island's principal gimmicks: one returning player assigned to each team and the predecessor's titular artifice. Coach and Ozzy were dubious choices to fill the coveted returning player slots, but both managed to turn in peak performances before late expirations. 

The latter's game revolved around Redemption Island. Shortly before the merge, Ozzy suggested his team vote him out so he could tackle tribe nemesis and Redemption crusher Christine. The tribe complied, Ozzy defeated Christine and returned to the game. Shortly thereafter, Ozzy suffered his signature soul-crushing backstabbing - this time at the hands of articulate, physically-intimidated John Cochran. 

Two seemingly-solid tribes were knotted at six heading into the critical first postmerge Tribal Council. The first vote came out 6-6, but Cochran flipped on the re-vote to avoid rock drawing, evacuate an unfavorable pecking order in his tribe, build his resumé and curry favor with the new crew. The move backfired, as Cochran was lambasted by his tribe, then voted out by the tribe he'd joined once they'd eliminated all his former mates. Cochran lost the battle but won the war. His dramatic flip, along with several other luminous moments, paved the way for a profitable return performance.

Perhaps if Ozzy had shown some affability towards Cochran, the sweater-vest wouldn't have betrayed him. But conviviality was never Ozzy's style. His motif was always providing and competing in challenges. Redemption Island was Ozzy's nirvana, a sanctuary from the manipulation and strategizing he never managed to wrap his head around. Ozzy spent eighteen days on Redemption, vanquishing eight competitors in duels after sharing his home, fish and life story with them. After returning to the game a second time, Ozzy won one more thrilling immunity before losing the climactic all-or-nothing final challenge to Sophie. Ultimately it was the most vintage of Ozzy's four performances: he found an idol straightaway and vowed to keep it to himself, managing to do so for two days before telling Keith, who immediately told Whitney; he acted like a baby after his closest ally Elyse was removed, then revamped into a hero by offering himself to challenge Christine on Redemption and finishing the deal; he won a zillion straight challenges, including one where five enemies helped dueling Edna solve a puzzle; he won the second-to-last immunity and targeted eventual champion Sophie, but Albert chose to off Rick instead (most likely to give them a better chance of defeating Ozzy in the final immunity). It was Ozzy's most impressive physical game yet, but another hopeless social foray. 

Rival returning player Coach also submitted his finest performance. Coach limited his bombast to competitors and cameras alike in favor of humility and patience. Meanwhile, he honed his strategy and played the game. Coach (cooperating with Albert and Sophie) found an idol early, hid it from half the tribe for several days, then pretended to find it during a faux team search to build tribe morale. Upon merging, he immediately began working Cochran and ultimately got him to turn (and then got his vote for winner). He took home an idol as a souvenir. If anything, Coach overplayed. He made too many promises to too many people. Some of them (including Ozzy, who trashed Sophie at Tribals but ended up voting for her) didn't forgive him for breaking them. 

After Cochran's flip, there was little question who'd make the final five. That unconcealed alliance had held since the first night. The intrigue began there, with erratic Brandon gifting an idol to Albert for unknown reasons. "My soul has never grieved like it does in this moment," Coach told the cameras before voting Brandon out, blessedly ending his erratic, screentime-sucking game. Albert ducked and weaved his way to the final three. He expressed confidence before Final Tribal, but his machinations were so transparent and heavy-handed he garnered zero jury votes. 

Coach's house of cards came tumbling down at Final Tribal while Sophie delivered a precise, tactical defense of her game after revealing deep vulnerabilities at the previous Tribal. She won the final vote 6-3-0 to cap off a subtle all-around powerhouse performance. She'd return for Winners At War, slowly taking control of the game before succumbing to Tony in a battle of GOATs. Her efficient Final Tribal and well-deserved victory ended the inconsistent season on a high note.

Survivor Retrospective: Redemption Island

Rating: 4.5/10

Redemption Island was so thoroughly dominated by one player it lost almost all of its latter-game intrigue. Yet that domination was an essential textbook in the franchise canon, what Jeff Probst called "the most perfect game in Survivor ever" to that point. Its winner served as the season's protagonist and tour guide as well, peeling back the curtain into the workshop of a Survivor mastermind.

Producers weren't willing to risk the repeat low point of Nicaragua, so they injected two twists to shake things up. For the first time, Survivor would be a double-elimination game, with traditional losers heading to Redemption Island to compete in duels to stay in the hunt. At the last minute, they surprised the fresh fish with the news they'd be playing with two of the game's most infamous castaways - Boston Rob and Russell Hantz. It was a thankful addition, because the first twist wasn't enough to hide another embarrassingly dull drove of competitors.

Russell quickly fell to the bottom of his tribe's social pecking order. They grew so paranoid and desperate to expunge Hantz they threw a challenge to seal the deal. Meanwhile, Rob ascended his tribe's social ladder, eventually elevating himself above his classic Robfather role all the way to cult leader. 

Rob worked individual relationships with everyone on the tribe, convincing each their personal bond would endure to the end. To the camera, he identified teenager Natalie as a loyal goat he could drag to the finish. Sure enough, she voted along with him at every Tribal and received no votes in the end. Shortly after the merge, Rob told the cameras inflammatory, widely-despised Phillip would accompany him and Natalie to Final Tribal. Indeed he'd shield Phillip all the way there as well. The erratic tool did better than Natalie - receiving a single vote to prevent a sweep from Rob.

On the rare occasions Rob met resistance, he acted swiftly and mercilessly to quell it. Intrepid Kristina immediately found an idol without a clue, then made the mistake of telling Phillip. The self-claimed "Former Federal Agent" spilled the beans at Tribal, foiling Kristina. After shipping beaming Bible thumper Matt off to Redemption Island for his relationship with Andrea, Rob vanquished Kristina instead of universally-hated Phillip, recognizing the Agent's loyal value. 

In the game's secondary compelling storyline, Matt won six straight duels to return to the game at the merge. Rob and company savagely sent him back to Redemption Island after he admitted to Rob he'd considered flipping to the other tribe, but had elected to stick with the castaways who had originally voted him out. Matt lasted to the final duel, but succumbed to friend-turned-foe Andrea. She was immediately voted out again - this time for good.

Ashley won a dramatic challenge to advance to the final four but Rob narrowly ousted her in the final immunity challenge. Rob broke down, knowing he'd locked up the million. Rob managed to get Natalie to betray her best friend in the game, setting the table for a Final Tribal trouncing and subsequent 8-1-0 vote.

Rob limited information when he could (finding the idol and telling no one, throwing a clue into a volcano without opening it) and controlled it when he couldn't (instituting the Buddy System to keep his allies from speaking alone with the minority alliance). He toyed with his opponents, honoring Amber's stuffed animal Murlonio by naming the Tribe after it under a fake Spanish "From the Sea Together" definition. It was the pinnacle performance of the show's most celebrated competitor.

Survivor Retrospective: Nicaragua

Rating: 3.5/10

Survivor: Nicaragua was an objective disaster. It began with awful gimmicks and a dubious cast and devolved from there. Its best players were eliminated before the homestretch. Its most memorable moment came 29 days in when two players quit. Its victor was considered an idiot by many of his competitors. But Nicaragua and its champion shouldn't be ranked in the bottom tier, as many pundits have ranked them.

The biggest problem with Nicaragua was its misguided young vs old tribal gimmick. The younger tribe predictably clobbered the older one in the immunity challenges and voted the old out when they mixed and merged. This was particularly problematic because the older tribe included the season's most interesting players, while the younger tribe was mostly comprised of imbeciles. The early game was further complicated by a poorly-explained challenge feature called the Medallion of Power.

Former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson met an early demise, leaving Marty in charge of the old folks. Marty was the season's tour guide, highly articulate and strategic. He played a mean, aggressive game, compiling enemies, allies, idols and screentime. He lost his top ally, Jill, through an unfortunate tribal swap. Marty received votes at five straight tribal councils but clawed his way to the merge. He managed to convince Fabio he was a chess Grand Master before the Powers That Be (Brenda and Sash) knocked him out.

Brenda, who Marty called "Black Widow, King Cobra and Black Mamba all rolled into one" was identified as the shot-caller by some weaker players and offed next. She would get another crack at Survivor; Marty is still waiting for his call-back. That was the end of Nicaragua's entertainment value, outside of some impressive endurance challenges from Marty's foil and fan-favorite winner Jane. Strategic Sash snaked his way to the finale, but received no votes from a disenchanted jury.

21 year-old Judd, nicknamed Fabio by his tribemates, defeated NASCAR pit crewman and country singer Chase 5-4 at Final Tribal. Fabio got an idiot edit early, but redeemed himself (and the season to some degree) down the homestretch. He won the last three immunity challenges with his head on the chopping block. He iterated his plan in confessionals: play dumb, avoid backstabbings and keep a low profile while allowing his gentle soul to shine through the game's grit. That was enough to beat dense, wishy-washy Chase and slimy Sash to become Survivor's youngest champion.

Survivor Retrospective: Heroes vs. Villains

Rating: 9/10

Often regarded as Survivor's greatest season, Heroes vs. Villains set new benchmarks for cast quality, wall-to-wall entertainment and ruthless strategy. Yet its most ruthless strategist was repudiated at Final Tribal in favor of a kinder, gentler mastermind, bringing Survivor full circle after twenty seasons.

For once the predetermined gimmick worked as intended, with the good & evil dichotomy between the tribes accentuated by the personalities of the castaways as well as the edit. While a few felt they'd been unfairly villainized, most castaways embraced their stereotypes. The tribes were allowed to compete with each other unadulterated until ten remained. This gave ample time for alliances to develop and crack, disagreements to fester, rivalries to marinate and drama to deepen. 

The Villains won four of the first five immunities. Boston Rob spearheaded a lopsided puzzle advantage and managed to get fire by rubbing two sticks together. While Rob would have been celebrated as indispensable most seasons, his Heroes vs. Villains eminence attracted the wrong sort of attention: that of Russell Hantz. The two alphas fought bitterly for control of the tribe, with Rob's group appearing to earn the upper hand over Russell, Parvati and Danielle. Rob's group of six decided to split the vote between Russell and Parvati to mitigate immunity idols. Russell then bamboozled Tyson into believing he was going to flip on Parvati to save his own skin. Tyson preferred Russell to Parvati, sensing a possible eventual betrayal of the Robfather. So Tyson wrote down Parvati when his alliance expected him to write down Russell, changing the votes from three for Russell and three for Parvati to two for Russell and four for Parvati. Meanwhile, Russell, Parvati and Danielle wrote down Tyson, giving him three votes. Russell then delivered the coup de grace, handing Parvati his idol before votes were read. Parvati's four votes were extinguished by the idol, burying Tyson in a grave he'd helped dig himself.

Russell's faction still trailed Rob's by a 5-3 margin, but they were able to swing Jerri. Her closest ally, Coach, found himself stuck between now-opposing allegiances to Jerri and Rob and punted his vote to avoid betrayal. Rob was ousted 4-3-1. Russell had won his greatest battle, but that didn't help him win the war.

Rob's ally Sandra was next in line to the slaughterhouse, but she cleverly planted a rumor that Coach was trying to eliminate Russell. Danielle also pushed hard to cancel Coach. Russell became infatuated with the misguided Hero notion that an all-female Villain alliance was picking the men off. Looking to strengthen that notion and assuage his own paranoia, Russell took the bait and arranged for Coach's exit.

The Dragonslayer's death fortified the Villain female alliance theory, inspiring J.T. to propose one of the most infamous schemes in Survivor history: giving Russell an immunity idol to save himself so that he could later ally with the Heroes. The gambit was hilariously misguided due to Russell's overt villainy, but J.T.'s earnest note put it over the top. Russell happily pocketed the idol, then laughed about it with companions the Heroes thought were his enemies. They voted out Courtney and concocted a group lie to maintain the false narrative of the Villain female alliance.

The Heroes had to vote players out too. They did so with fewer shenanigans. Disconnected, annoying Sugar went first. Then they went after the threats: Stephenie, Cirie and Tom Westman. James got injured again and was put out to pasture. Both tribes had five players left when they merged.

But the Heroes had no idols and the Villains had three: the idol J.T. gave Russell, an idol Russell had found earlier and an idol Parvati and Danielle had recently found and kept secret. Believing the Heroes would target Parvati, Russell gave her one of his idols for protection. Parvati rekindled talks with old pal Amanda and again defeated her, sniffing out a bluff that the Heroes were targeting Parvati. Sandra tried to warn the Heroes of the Villainous conspiracy, but they wouldn't listen to her nor her conduit Rupert. Realizing her alarms were falling on deaf ears, Sandra reluctantly voted for J.T. with the Villains to maintain a false sense of unity. The Heroes voted for Jerri. Parvati, knowing Amanda was bluffing about her peril, gave away both her idols to Sandra and Jerri. The latter's votes were nullified, J.T. was sent to the Jury and the Villains took a pivotal lead.

Sandra redoubled her efforts to oust Russell, but traitorous Candice flipped and dug a knife into her tribe's back just like she did on Cook Islands, voting with the Villains. Sandra again stuck with the Villains to maintain false unity. They ousted Amanda shortly after she became the first castaway to play 100 days of Survivor, a record Parvati would soon match and extend. Russell unnecessarily used an idol, receiving no votes.

Candice's treason got her nowhere, as the Villain females agreed she couldn't be trusted. With Rupert pretending to lodge an idol in his pocket, the Villains arranged a split between him and Candice. Rupert and Colby sniffed out the split and voted for Candice, who got to play one more time for unknown reasons.

Russell then turned savagely on Danielle, correctly fearing her bond with Parvati was stronger than his. Danielle broke down at Tribal Council and revealed the plan had been to go to Final Tribal with Russell and Parvati, convincing Jerri to turn on her. The two remaining Heroes happily joined and the Panama runner-up was eliminated in seventh place. 

Parvati was disgusted, but knew she needed to eliminate Rupert and Colby to have a chance with the Hero-laden Jury. Like Sandra, she swallowed her pride and anger to advance further. Parvati and Sandra joined Russell and Jerri to knock the last Heroes out. Russell then won the final immunity challenge. Believing Sandra was a goat and Jerri had the best chance to beat him, Russell knocked one of Survivor's first villains out in fourth place, her strongest showing.

But Russell was delusional. He thought every juror valued strategy as highly as he did. For Russell, relationships didn't matter on Survivor; every castaway was just a chess piece. Just as he'd assumed in Samoa, Russell thought everyone viewed the game like he did. This was his fatal flaw. In back-to-back seasons, Russell proved he could and would do anything to get to Final Tribal. If the goal of the game was simply to outlast, Russell would be the GOAT. But the beauty of Survivor is that you have to woo your adversaries to win. Russell was never able to evaluate himself through the eyes of his adversaries. He lost his first game 7-2 to the undistinguished goat he hand-selected to accompany him to Final Tribal. He received zero votes at his second, three fewer than Parvati and six less than Sandra. In the end, Russell was the true goat, not the true GOAT. He was the one you most wanted to bring to the end, because by that point he'd have ostracized everyone on the Jury.

Like its champion, Heroes vs. Villains was a little better on paper. No season had more entertaining antics, more brilliant moves, more dramatic Tribal Councils or more intelligent castaways (at least until Winners At War). But the players themselves didn't match their reputations. Stephenie never got a chance to show her tenacity or her abs. Cirie was ousted before sinking her claws in. Tom descended over the hill. Clever Tyson was too clever for his own good. James was truculent, not heroic. Boston Rob got outplayed. J.T. pulled one of the biggest boners in franchise history. Rupert was a hobbled shell. "Challenge beast" Colby performed pathetically all season. The final four of Jerri, Russell, Parvati and Sandra was talented but unlikable. Sandra's win came by default, not because of spectacular game play. Many phenomenal players from the show's first twenty seasons graced the screen, but Survivor's true GOATs had yet to play.